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Posh Bela and her accent return this week to irritate both Our Intrepid Heroes and the long-suffering audience as the boys head to a coastal resort plagued, as of late, by a series of bizarre dry-land drownings. Turns out each victim spotted a triple-masted ghost ship in the hours before they died, and it's further revealed that each victim was responsible for the death of a blood relation in the past, some by accident, others by intent. After the usual amounts of initial misdirection followed by clever investigation (and some massively grating amounts of Bela-related aggravation, including a scene in which she heartlessly violates the Impala's dignity by getting it towed, for which she must die), Sam and Dean discover that the ghoul responsible (a sailor on the ghost ship, natch) had been hanged by his own brother (the ship's captain) for some sort of seafaring infraction. The sailor's corpse was cremated, but not before his colleagues amputated his right hand, which is on display at the local maritime museum. Posh Bela finagles a set of invitations to the museum's rather conveniently timed donors' gala, and our uncomfortably tuxedoed protagonists help her swipe the grisly artifact from its display case, fully intent on salting and burning it to halt sailor boy's reign of terror. One problem: Bela immediately sells the waxy thing to a European client. One bigger problem: She spots the ghost ship seconds after the sale goes through. So, it's up to Darling Sammy and his mad latinating skillz to save the day, which he does by effecting a reunion between sailor boy and the ghost of his homicidal brother, wherein the unquiet spirits basically destroy each other.
They should have let the twee cow drown.
Rattle, Rattle THEN! We're back to killing some evil sons of bitches and raising a little hell this week, apparently, though to be completely honest with you, Dashing El Deano's introduction to this evening's festivities has been Frankenedited together from bits of last season's call to arms and this season's dueling options, so maybe we should be taking that as a hint that tonight's installment is just going to be one big, lurching, ineptly cobbled together assault against God and nature. In any event, we were introduced, as you'll recall, to Bela Talbot and her hideously bad wig a few episodes ago, and quickly found her to be an aggravatingly posh annoyance, partly because of That Accent Of Hers, but mainly because she shot Darling Sammy in one of his remarkably broad and heretofore healthy shoulders, for which she must die. Also, Desperate El Deano sold his soul to The Crossroads Demonette in exchange for his brother's life, and promptly turned into a raging dicksmack of epic proportions. Finally, Darling Sammy summoned that demonette to a crossroads of his own choosing in order to force her to release his suddenly and unreasonably irritating brother from the latter's demonic obligations. And when she refused? He shot her in the face! "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon howls, flailing himself into a frenzy of delight over the chance to witness such awesomeness once more, and Raoul, you know I love you, but you really need to shut the fuck up for the...
...Silence, Silence NOW! An athletic and scantily clad brunette jogs down a veddy upscale nighttime harbor esplanade and bends to avail herself of a water fountain at the end of the path just as thunder rumbles ominously overhead. Wiping at her mouth, the brunette lifts her head to find a ragged-looking clipper ship creaking through the suddenly appearing fog at the harbor's mouth as lightning flashes around its triple masts. DUN! After a few more lightning strikes, the ship vanishes just as quickly and mysteriously as it had appeared, and the brunette, who is apparently too stupid to realize she should be pitching a massive freak-out hissy at the moment, blandly replaces her iPod's buds in her ears and jogs back the way she came.