The Ultimate Shock

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 1 USERS: A+

I would normally never do this, but I must say something I egregiously forgot. Confidential to Erin, whose birthday was April 16th: Aside from my neglectful nature, I would have wished you a happy birthday properly at the time. Now go give your brother a hug.

Previously on Survivor: Lido Deck: The rich got richer and the poor got poorer on this most Dickensian of all seasons, where big and powerful Koror (led by the old guy and the dolphin trainer who looked like Olive Oyl's ganglier kid brother) ripped out the heart of pathetic Ulong (led by a gaggle of gym rats, he-men, Neanderthals, and other people who listen to Matchbox Twenty on their iPods. Tom was the new Colby, except with fewer mommy issues and no car that folds out into a tent. The few opportunities to vote him out were missed, thanks to a strong alliance that backed him up, even when he showed flashes of arrogant prick-itude. Ian's image -- once Flipper-like in its sheen and harmless playfulness -- acquired a tinge of the stinging jellyfish after he neglected to turn the other cheek to Katie's reward-challenge smackeroo. Before he knew it, he was crying and apologizing and generally acting like nobody sent him flowers after he got his legs waxed and everything. Caryn was the last to be sent packing, meaning that the final four will be tragically without a truly nasty sourpuss. We're down to four of the five members of the first strong alliance to emerge all season -- maybe the most successful large alliance ever, alongside Chapera, and it looks like they're getting toward the end with a surprising lack of emerging bitterness. Can it last? And can it make us forget Vanuatu?

At Koror, a crab is nearly washed away by the drama of it all, here on Day 37. A bird flaps agreement. The final four are rousing themselves in the shelter, and Katie moans, "Day 37..." She also comments that "true colors came out last night," referring apparently to Caryn's attempted de-pantsing of Ian. A-Jenn smiles down at Katie, which Katie gets a lot, as a result of lying down most of the time. Katie comments in an interview that Caryn actually did Katie a major favor by "going off" at tribal council. Things, she explains, were already resolved between herself and Ian as far as what a terrible person he was for failing to take her on a reward right after she knocked him out of a reward and spent her down time scheming to throw him out of the game. Still, Katie appreciated Caryn's bringing out Ian's having "betrayed" her in front of the jury. I love the fact that Katie thinks the jury would ever vote based on some kind of proxy petty personal grudge on her behalf, when all the members have their own petty personal grudges to rely on. Who needs empathy when you have self-pity?

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