We’ll Make You Pay

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The Big Move

Previously on Outwit, Outplay, Outlast One Out Of Ulong, Please Turn Off The Lights: Steph scrambled to stay afloat after wiggling out the week before by riding to safety on Janu's emaciated back. She tried to cobble together an all-girl alliance to make a dent in the emerging power triplets of Tom, Ian, and Gregg, but Caryn balked and leaked the plan to Tom, the only person who had bothered to show her much friendship. Tom told Ian, and Ian asked Katie, and Katie pointed out that it would indeed be sad if Tom just barreled through the remainder of the immunity challenges and nobody else stood a chance. Ian claimed to briefly consider flipping on Tom, but ultimately, the safe play got the best of everyone, and Steph took the long walk to the jury. In fairness, she had seemed to be doomed for a while now, and some situations do turn out to be just as gruesome as they appear, as we all learned after reading the recap of Riding The Bus With My Sister.

I want to begin by announcing that you will all be glad to know that my house was not, in fact, demolished by a severe thunderstorm, as the bottom of my screen throughout this episode informed me that it might be. But for much of the episode, the contestants were compressed into the top part of the screen, thus appearing shorter and squattier than they are in real life. They gave inches of illusory height to keep me from suffering a lightning strike. It's a brotherhood of man, you guys.

At Koror, we return to Day 31. The wind is rustling through the plants whose names I do not know, and the tribe is just beginning to wake up for another big day of doing basically nothing. The opening topic of the day is how bad everyone felt for Steph when she was voted off the previous night. They should look on the bright side, which is that Steph is probably getting to massage some Hope In A Jar into that increasingly leathery complexion of hers. Tom interviews that he was afraid he might go last night, and admits that if he were in his tribemates' shoes, he might vote himself off. For his part, Ian is wearing quite the strange-looking floppy nightcap-thing (I have no idea what that is) this morning, as if he's starring in some kind of Palau-ian revival of A Christmas Carol. Tiny Janu could sit there in the corner with her flower, ailing, while Coby Cratchet tries to bring her a Christmas coconut...I sense a very successful musical in the offing.

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