Samantha Who?
The Job

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The Job

Samantha is dozing in the morning, and voiceovering about the crazy dream she had in which she was in a car accident and lost her memory and is now living with her mom and dad. And her brother, David Faustino. Her lovely reverie is broken by her mom, who brightly orders her out of bed, what with her not being in a coma anymore.

Sam walks downstairs, looking at mementoes of her past, like her graduation picture, when her dad comes in the front door after retrieving the paper. He speaks to her very slowly, explains to her who her mother and father are, and what the kitchen is, and fortunately, she cuts him off before he reminds her how mothers and fathers make little Samanthas.

Sam strolls into the kitchen to find out Dena's got the day off and wants to know if Sam wants to hang out. Sam's mom says she was going to spend the day with Sam, but Sam puts the kibosh on that: "Actually, I was kind of going to be busy with me today," with Mom wanting to know what the point of Sam getting hit by a car was if it meant they weren't going to spend any time together. Sam wants to know what her job is, but don't ask Mom, since they haven't spoken in two years. "Twenty for me!" says Dena, raking in the pot. Sam's father helpfully says it was something in a building, which rules out "astronaut," according to Sam, who apparently thinks astronauts do their training in meadows.

While going through her purse, Sam finds an appointment card that informs her she has a doctor's appointment today. Brain doctor? Doctor with organ-donor forms? Sam is horrified that her parents were going to donate her organs (sounds more like pre-coma Sam than post-coma Sam, but never mind), but Regina assures her she wouldn't have donated Sam's eyes: "I could never look anyone in the face again without wondering." Anyway, Sam's got a compromise: Dena can drive her to the doctor's appointment, and then her mom can drive her into the city. But Regina can't, reminding Sam that she's getting her hair trimmed today, and wails that Sam's starting to forget things again.

Dena drives a little car with two massive dogs in the back seat, beautiful Newfoundlands who could comfortably guard illegal motorcycle-gang clubhouses, or perhaps the gates of hell. Sam bitches about Regina (essentially "what's the deal with mothers?") until Dena cheerfully says her own mom is dead, which is like those Dear Abby columns where women write in for advice on fixing their husbands' snoring, and then other women write in to say, "Harold's snoring bothered me too, and THEN HE DIED, and how I wish he were snoring next to me now." Sam tries to remove her foot from her mouth, but Dena says Sam was really nice when she found out, and even insisted Dena move the date of the funeral so she could attend. And then still didn't come. (I thought they hadn't spoken since seventh grade?) Before a chagrined Sam can slink straight through the car's floorboards and onto the street, Dena says Sam did send some nice flowers. "Well, there's that," says Sam, who waits a moment, and then adds, "I didn't send any flowers, did I." Dena, diplomatically: "Not really."

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Samantha Who?




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