A former Metropolis Sharks football player presumed dead in a car accident that claimed the rest of his family is miraculously brought back to life -- with a lot of futuristic metals inside of him. He's cute. He's pining for the girl he left behind. He's Bionic Brother. And, against all odds, the dude can act. BB escapes from the evil lab that made him and smacks right into Lana's car, totaling it. (It's all right. She's from Metropolis. They crash cars there just for fun.) Clark -- who just made a new friend with this powerful "Cyborg" -- tries to help, and tracks back the evil lab to LuthorCorp. Lex denies involvement, but he's totally behind the whole thing and wants to do even more awful things to the poor Robojock. Clark helps Bionic Brother escape the lab after BB is taken prisoner again when they threaten his old girlfriend. Then Clark says some things to Lex that don't seem all that threatening, but somehow magically get him to back off anyway. BB gets to rock all night with his old girlfriend, who doesn't mind that he's made almost entirely of metal (hey, she might even like it), while Lana and Clark go all shmoopy at each other about their "glory days" -- which, as we all know, weren't all that glorious. Meanwhile, Papa Luthor concocts an elaborate (or at least elaborate if you don't know it's happening) scheme to make MamaKent believe that she's being blackmailed. Or maybe she is being blackmailed. Who knows. Either way, Papa Luthor gets rid of the blackmailer by paying him off, earns MamaKent's trust some more, and has in his possession surveillance tape of Clark saving Lana from one of those episode-ending explosions. The Magnificent Bastard, it seems, is about to make some magnificent moves.
Ooh, a gadget room. It's like my office closet. We open on a dark room, one with hanging machinery and a guy held up like he's posing for a sacrilegious piece of art. Florescent lights come up, revealing the room to be a made up of lit squares. You could shoot a killer rap video here. A man in a white lab coat walks by a hanging prosthetic arm and a hanging Terminator metal arm. He goes to a flat-panel display and presses his thumb against the screen. A scanner recognizes the print as belonging to a Dr. Hong. Hong punches in the code "246," causing a high-tech fence made of what appears to be curved chicken wire to open, revealing a young black man held up in shackles and wearing a blue track suit with purple on the sides. The young man is asleep. Hong -- a young scientist with big glasses -- is holding one of those industrial trigger needles you only see people inject into athletes in movies. He pokes the guy we'll come to know as Bionic Brother in the neck with the thing, injecting him with an amber liquid. BB wakes up and looks at Dr. Hong. Hong says he's sorry for what they did to him. You mean shackling a brother up, or was there something else? Bionic looks at Hong like he's not exactly sure what he means. Hong presses a button. It buzzes, and the wrist restraints open. "This was all I could save," Hong says. He hands over a 4 x 6 photo to Bionic Brother. As BB looks at the picture, we can see from the translucence that it's a photo of a young woman. BB stares at the photo, then looks at Hong. "Thank you," he tells the doctor. BB steps forward, and a cable that was sticking into the back of his neck gets unplugged. The lights flash, the color of the walls goes purple, and an alarm sounds. The camera spins around them as Hong tells Bionic Brother, "Get out!" No, you get out, I'm serious! John was totally checking you out! A really smarmy-looking guy in a suit runs into the room, accompanied by a soldier, just as Bionic Brother is running out. "Stop him! Aim for the shoulder!" the Suit yells. The soldier aims an Xbox-green beam from a machine gun. But Bionic Brother has already rounded the corner to another room. The soldier pursues. Scientific Suit tells no one in particular to seal the building because he needs BB alive. Dr. Hong is like, "I hope you're not talking to me, because if you are, then you've got the wrong Hong."
In a Kubrickian hallway of what look like painted-white storage units, Bionic Brother is hauling ass. Bionic ass. Two soldiers are in pursuit. Action music plays as BB tries to figure out which way to go. I think he's running back and forth down the same hallway. One of the soldiers fires his rifle, and it makes a little whining sound before shooting a plasma blast that explodes against a far wall, barely missing BB. He runs some more. The soldiers run some more. They enter a warehouse setting right out of Flashdance. More soldiers have entered the fray. Bionic Brother makes it outside and navigates a catwalk, then a downward ramp leading to some very heavy-looking double doors. The scientist -- who must have been magically transported to catch up with the fast-moving soldiers -- gets to the door right behind his henchmen. The metal double doors have been completely bent out of shape as Bionic Brother just tore right through them. Scientific Suit, surprised, tells his troops to sweep the area. Wouldn't that be a job for housekeeping? "I want him back in his cage," Scientist Suit says. If your interior monologue is primarily evil in intent, you should really keep it to yourself.