Wendy Kroy: So what in the hell was this show all about, anyway?
Regina: I don't know. Cloning or some such shit?
Wendy Kroy: Really? I thought it was about hot shirtless guys and spy sex.
Regina: Ohhhh yeah! That's it! That's what it's about.
Wendy Kroy: Speaking of hot, shirtless guys...where's Owen?
Regina: Where do you think?
Wendy Kroy: In the bedroom with a box of Honey Grahams and a bunch of Fellini films?
Wendy Kroy: But...is he naked?
Regina: Except for the cowboy hat.
Wendy Kroy: Your boyfriend rules. Can we go look at him and laugh?
Regina: Dude. We're supposed to be recapping this show.
Wendy Kroy: Oh. [pause] Can we go look at him, laugh, and then do the recap?
Regina: [pause] Hee. Yeah. Bring the Jell-O shots.
Previously on Alias: The Alliance gone buh-bye. Syd and Vaughn made out. And Foolio became Fauxlio. Oh, and Jessica saved my ass with her recaplet because I'm a mental reject. Thanks, Jessica!
Berlin. No, not the BAND. Although I could do with a little "Sex (I'm A)" right about now. Speaking of sex, we open up on a pair of smooth, naked female legs, rubbing against each other beneath a white sheet. And, yeah, we're allllll supposed to assume that this is Syd and that she's in the throes of "morning after" bliss. Even though, you know, it doesn't really make sense for Syd and Vaughn to touch tongues in Hell-Lay and then, like, FLY TO BERLIN to get it awn. But I'm thinking that duping us into wondering if these are Syd's legs was foremost on the creators' minds.
But it's not Syd. It's Olivia D'Abo. And that hand caressing her shoulder while she makes ooky faces isn't Vaughn's. It's Ethan Hawke's. And while we're at it, ROWR. Good god, he's cute. And he seems to be channeling that Gattaca kind of cute, not the Reality Bites kind of cute. Not that there's anything wrong with the latter; it's just that the former is a sleeker, more savory kind of cute. Anyway...Olivia overbites at Ethan something about how, when they've finished up in Berlin, they should haul ass back to Fiji. Ethan's all, yeah, uh-huh, that'd be nice. We had loads of fun there before, right? I mean, yeah, we had loads of fun there. I didn't mean to sound questioning or anything. Because I'm totally NOT an evil clone.