Survivor
Family Values

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Neck and Neck

Previously on Survivor, Sook Jai was a "tribe divided," and Helen and Jan were a couple of "lost old biddies." Okay, the "old biddies" part comes from me, not Just Peachy. Sook Jai won both challenges, and Robb shrieked in an unappealing way. Incidentally, we should all ready ourselves for Robb to continue to do everything in an unappealing way. In Chuay Gahn's second Council, the tribe spoke to Tanya.

Credits: dancing shadows; pretty buildings; tinkle, tinkle, paddle, paddle, paddle; buoyant breasts; pierced tongue; spastic monkey; slithery snake. Credits.

This week, we're treated to entirely new camera work with the opening moments of the show. Nothing races or flows or scuttles; instead, three shadowy half-moons converge into one substantial half-moon. It's fan-cee! Spiders swarm, quite like the ants of Survivors past. It's just as icky.

It's now Night Six at Chuay Gahn. Clay tells us that although they've lost two immunities and one reward, they're still a happy family. He says they understand and like each other's personalities, and claims that they "didn't clash, they clicked." Later, we'll learn a more suitable description: not clashing, or clicking, but grinding. A night-vision shot shows Ted and Ghandia having a conversation about the natural color of her eyes. She's quick to say she's not wearing contacts and claims, "They ain't brown." They look brown to me on the website, so I'm confused. In an interview, Ghandia tells us how happy she is to have Ted on her team. This is the longest she's been away from her husband, who's her "best friend, [her] homeboy -- everything to [her]." Ghandia and Ted snuggle up together, and Ghandia slides her arm through his arm. The camera ominously closes in on Ted's hand patting Ghandia's arm, but it's her head on his shoulder. Ghandia further explains that Ted "brings that home" to her; she feels like her husband is there with her "chillin'." He's "good to hug" and "just cool." The Survivor Singers aah and sigh, because they know Ted won't be "good to hug" and "just cool" for much longer. The night-vision camera pans over the sleeping tribe members, two of whom are spooning. You can't tell which two -- most likely it's two local Thai people flipped a fiver by Mark Burnett to lie there for thirty seconds -- but clearly we're supposed to think it's Ghandia and Ted.

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