Supernatural

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 4 USERS: A-
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The Hardy Boys Realize Hope Floats
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Crackle, Crackle THEN! Did you know a storm's coming, and that Sam and Dean are right in the middle of it? Not that that matters much to Our Intrepid Heroes, who have soldiered on nevertheless, picking up where their father left off saving people and hunting things. You know, the family business. They've seen things most other people couldn't dream about, and if those things are supernatural, they kill them, end of story, for that is their job. Well, except when their job is hunting evil, apparently, and as not every supernatural entity counts as evil, sometimes they must leave the thing alone. I think. The point is, Our Dear Boys do their best to be as morally complex as the gang over on Battlestar Galactica, and while they rarely succeed, what I guess you really should know is this: Their lives are weird, man. Got all that? Good.

Crackle, Crackle NOW! A battered and filthy steep-curve warning sign emerges from the blackness for a moment in the headlights of an approaching car before it slips back into the darkness as the car passes by into the night. Those headlights then cover a length of rural blacktop before the camera hops inside the car itself, where the digital radio's tuned to 1250 on the AM dial just in time for the opening guitar lines of The Animals' cover of "The House Of The Rising Sun," and oh, gross. I just now got the song title's connection to the end of the episode. "Eeeeeeek!" shrieks Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, clapping a paw against his forehead at his own stupidity regarding the matter. "I feel like such a silly!" Indeed. Now, where was I? Oh, yes: The camera slides past the radio to a roadmap in a gentleman's lap right before the shot flips around to reveal that gentleman to be Dan Gauthier, best known to me as a tawdry knockoff of Tom Cruise, but far better known to soap opera fans, apparently." "It's Kevin Buchanan!" shrieks Raoul, giddy with delight and positively dreamy-eyed. I should have guessed you'd have known that, my scaly friend. "And how could you not?!" Raoul shrieks again, appalled. "On One Life To Live! Where he and his third wife had a screaming argument with each other in the depths of St. Jude's rectory the very day Michael and Marcie were to be wed, and that led to his third wife having sex with his son right there in the rectory right after Kevin stormed out but just before an unexpected tornado ripped through Llanview to bury the two vile fornicators in piles of debris from which they were presently extracted suffering from life-threatening injuries, and when they were wheeled into the emergency room at the same time, poor Kevin had to make a Sophie's Choice over which one would hit surgery first, and he picked his trampy wife over his vicious homewrecking slut of a son, and so of course his wife lived even though they were about to get a divorce, and his vicious homewrecking slut of a son died, and poor Kevin was very sad, indeed, until he found out that his trampy wife was actually now pregnant with his vicious homewrecking slut of a son's child, so he reconciled with her for some asinine reason, and they all moved to London so he could raise his grandchild in a place that rarely, if ever, gets tornadoes!" "It was fabulous!" Raoul pantingly concludes, breathless from the exertion. I am so glad I don't watch soap operas.

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Supernatural

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