There’ll Be No Teardrops Tonight

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
No Strings
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Gunnar's jailbird brother, Jason, was all about being in violation of parole and making Gunnar's life miserable. And then to make things worse for himself, Gunnar agreed to be Scarlett's roommate. Liam suddenly became an asshole and Rayna fired him as her producer/guitarist/fellow torturer of Juliette/sexual chemistry vessel. Teddy's banging of Peggy enabled him to grow a testicle and ask Rayna for a divorce, which really took a lot of the joy out of Deacon committing to a life of mute sexiness and surprising her with a hot elevator kiss.

We enter with Rayna getting her makeup touched up during a press junket. She has a bit of a dazed look as "I want a divorce" and "I'm done talking" run through her head in full-on deep cave echo. Finally Bucky gets through to her, asking if she's ready for her final interviews. She sighs in response, and Bucky takes a moment alone with her to say that they can claim she's sick to get out of them. But Rayna didn't make it this far folding up like a tent when things get bad. And...has she ever actually tried to fold up a tent? My experience has been that it's all lumpy and never fits back in the box and then inevitably gets moldy sitting in your basement, which maybe actually works for the analogy. Bucky says that this is a little different, indicating that he knows about Teddy's divorce request. But Rayna says that she's fine, and always is. She's no pop tart tantrum-haver, we are to gather, but a true pro.

Speaking of tantrums waiting to happen, Juliette stands with Glenn on the concert stage and tells him she wants to have a runway into the audience built for the "acoustic set," just wide enough for her and Deacon. Glenn is all, "Acoustic who in the what now?" Juliette tells him to make it happen, and he reminds her that she was not supposed to make any decisions without consulting with him. She's not keen on asking permission, and gets even more pissed when he reminds her that she promised to "behave" after her various scandals. Juliette says this is her damn career, Glenn claims to want to keep her from wrecking it, and Juliette counters that he's trying to run her life. She's taking control of her multi-million dollar industry of an existence, and is going to keep writing the songs the way she wants to while Glenn keeps writing the checks. Also, she got him flowers for manager appreciation day.

Meanwhile, Gunnar is walking around in only a towel and Scarlett reminds him that they have a rule about no nekkidness. He's merely air drying and says he can be nekkid if she wants him to. What about "no nekkidness" makes him think that she wants him to be nekkid? Sometimes I think their whole subplot is really a modern retelling of Like Normal People. She laughs as she reminds him that they're strictly roommates. Until, I'm guessing, episode 15. Scarlett per usual looks like she built a time machine and went back to a dust bowl era Goodwill to find her ensemble. Gunnar has gotten multiple calls on his cell from a mysterious number. I'm surprised a little drawing of a gun and jail bars didn't pop up on the caller ID. Scarlett then gets an actually exciting call from Watty White, letting her know that Rayna wants to talk about signing them to her new label. Scarlett jumps up on Gunnar with excitement, and his penis accidentally falls into one of her orifices, and nine months later a litter of scraggly haired field mice will be born with banjos in their hands. It's the modern rodentine Partridge Family!

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