CSI
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Fantastic Four

The Who would like to know who the driver is so they can fix him up with Catherine. After all, those two have at least one thing in common.

When we get back from commercials, Gil's loping through the Labitrail. As he walks by the receptionist's desk, Liam the larval CSI and Sara cross the reception area behind him. Both are clad in blue jumpsuits, and Liam's saying, "Sara, I just want you to know that while we were in the shower, I didn't see anything." Gil's head whips around as Sara replies, "Really? Gosh, I saw everything." Sadly for Liam, she does not sound awestruck while saying that. Gil takes a moment to brood, while I take a moment to snap at the TV that he does not get to pull that dog-in-the-manger routine. Anyway, Judy interrupts Gil's reverie with "Mr. Grissom, PD just called. Apparently the Humvee from your hit-and-run was carjacked earlier tonight." By the way, Judy is rocking a pair of tortoiseshell frames that I seriously covet, and anyone who can tell me who makes them will get a special shout-out from me in the next recap, I promise. Because they would look awesome on me and we wants them.

But enough about the precious frames. There's a pissed-off touristy couple currently reminding Brass that sometimes, there are worse things than living alone. There's living with this harridan, for example, who's busy contradicting every detail in her husband's account over exactly what kind of carjacker absconded with the hideous vehicle they won from the local auto show. By the end of the scene, all these two agree on is that a bipedal hominid may have taken the car. Everything else -- including the species of the hominid -- is up for negotiation.

The one useful piece of information is that the Hummer's would-be new boyfriend was lurking by a fence in this show's definition of a bad neighborhood. What's left unexplained is what the couple were doing in this part of town, or how the carjacker managed to get them out of the car. Let's not dwell on it right now. So Gil just happens to notice some not-so-fresh blood on the fence and snaps a photo. He then notices the trail of blood drops leading to the fence, and a bloody white bandanna.

Gil's momentarily distracted by a cruiser and an unmarked car speeding by in hot pursuit of...something, but he returns to looking at the bandanna. Within seconds we find out that the two cars were, in fact, speeding to a local convenience store. There, a belligerent young man is being frog-marched out while the irate Asian shopkeeper screams, "Try to steal from me, you miserable lowlife! This time, I get justice!" Or you get Brass and two extras in cop uniforms. As the bloody-kneed guy is marched to the cooler, the store owner screams, "Jail! You are going to jail!" The thugling retorts weakly, "Man, you just a racist." Worth noting: this guy is about as street as Thurston Howell.

Brass tells the kid that he matches the description for a suspect in a carjack and hit-and-run case, and the kid cheerfully corrects him: "Na-ah-ah. I jacked a 40, not no car, a'ight." Brass replies, "Yeah, a'ight, One-Cent. Let's go." The camera switches back to the shopkeeper, who's clearly thinking, "I would have gone with Eminot."

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