A Picture from Life’s Other Side

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Death Becomes Her

We cut to Emily, filming Juliette's confession about the sex tape. Juliette explains that someone she trusted videotaped them in an intimate position and then blackmailed her. She looks very, very tired as she says that, at the base of it, she fell for the wrong man and he broke her heart. When the camera is off, Emily tells Juliette that she's the bravest person she knows. I'm glad that Juliette has one friend, even if it's a paid one.

And then we're at the Opry, where Rayna and her gold lame pants are making a special announcement. She tells the crowd about the launch of her new label, Highway 65 Records, and introduces wonderful, exciting new artist Scarlett O'Connor. Scarlett walks on stage and hugs Rayna, and Deacon (who is also onstage, as her guitar player) gives them both a big smile. The song is "Looking for a Place to Shine," and her eyes are crossed even before she starts singing, so you know the enthusiasm is going to be like proverbial fireworks shooting to the sky and diamond sitting on a ring. She spots Avery in the audience, beaming with pride. So, huge surprise, Scarlett is just fine, singing with the widest open mouth in all the land. She gets a standing ovation and, instead of dropping the mic, swallows it so even her stomach gurgles can be amplified to throngs of applause everywhere.

On the flip side of wild Opry success, there is (even more) relentless grodiness. Dante shows up at Jolene's place looking for the money. There is acknowledgement that both of them are high, and then, instead of pulling out a briefcase emblazoned with a big dollar sign, Jolene pulls a gun on Dante. She says she's sparing her daughter the humiliation of going on television and explaining what he's done to her. He's all HAHA I can have that on the Internet faster than a bullet can hit my chest. But it turns out he can't, and Jolene shoots him dead. You have to give her credit for having pretty good aim under duress! What you can't give her credit for is thinking that having your mother kill your ex-boyfriend/blackmailer (and then herself, spoiler) is a less damaging public scandal/life event than a sex tape.

After a break, Teddy and Rayna are in court, and she's explaining through her bow-necked blouse that their kids call Deacon "Uncle Deacon." Teddy is all, "He's not their uncle." Shut up, Teddy. Teddy's claim is that Deacon is a danger because he's an alcoholic, and though Rayna explains that Deacon hasn't had a drop in thirteen years, Teddy has submitted that bogus magazine article from the Revel Kings days as evidence. Then Teddy says to Rayna, under his breath, "A hearing within a day of being served? I wonder whose daddy got us on the docket so quickly." I wonder whose daddy got us elected as mayor, eh? The judge overhears and is basically like, "Shut up, Teddy," while also acknowledging that Lamar called him in the interest of privacy for his daughter and the mayor. The judge dissolves the restraining order for now, and says they'll revisit the issue in full court in two weeks. E.g.: Shut up, Teddy.

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