A Witch’s Tail, Part I

Episode Report Card
admin: D+ | 1 USERS: A+
Smells Like Fish, Tastes Like Chicken (Parte Un)
The Dolt: No! She is a freak with a beautiful heart!
Craig: You, a complete stranger to me, are absolutely right, and I shall now declare my undying and eternal love for this freak with the beautiful heart!
Phoebe: Baaaa!

Actually, I think Phoebe might have mooed, but who cares at this point? Mylar's scales vanish, and the Dolt blushes furiously when he takes in Mylar's post-mermaid nakedness. The Dolt strips off his soaked shirt so that Craig can cover up his girlfriend's naked, nearly-dead, post-mermaid ta-tas. The Dolt then reapplies the tingly touch, and this time it works. Mylar's eyelids flutter open. She beams. Craig beams. They mack. Whatever.

The Dolt, "sensing Piper's panic," suggests that they all return to the beach immediately. He crouches by the glimmering pool to take Phoebe's hand for the orb, but Phoebe flatly refuses to return to land. Raige snarls, but it's of no use. Phoebe longs for the freedom the open ocean provides, and there's nothing Raige can do about it! Nothing at all! Do you hear her! Nyaaaah! Mylar warns them that Phoebe's heart will grow cold if she hearkens to the call of the ocean, but whatever. Phoebe's off like a prom dress, and the last we see of her (for another five minutes, at any rate) is her glittery, golden, rubberized tail.

Stay tuned for Part Two, gang. It promises to be just as ass-tastic as Part One. I know. I've seen it already. Twice.

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