House
Acceptance

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Doin' It And Doin' It And Doin' It Well

House enters LL's room to find the monitors beeping wildly and Foreman standing by watching. Foreman says that LL's in bradycardia and his heart rate will soon drop to nothing. House gets to work, asking Foreman if he was just waiting around to call that time of death. Foreman says there's nothing to do but give LL atropine, which will only buy them another few hours. "Get out of here," House says, either because he cares about his patient or because he was planning on eating dinner over him.

Chase is searching through LL's cell when House calls to ask if he's made any progress. Chase says he hasn't talked to any inmates, and that he has no intention to. LL's life isn't worth risking his own, Chase says. House angrily asks if anyone does their jobs anymore. If they don't, I think we can blame it on their example: Cameron. Fire her now, please. Chase says that he's searched "both" of LL's cells -- the one he lived in and the one he was confined to after collapsing in the exercise yard. You know, the office supply closet one, which is full of office supplies. Like copier toner. House hears that, and tells Chase he can come back.

House wheels a cart into LL's room and closes the blinds to the outside. LL is intrigued. He takes out two specimen cups and tells LL that he's dying. And that deserves a "last drink!" And with that, he pours out two shots of a nameless brand of dark liquor (apparently, Bacardi 151 did not want to be associated with getting drug addict doctors and Death Row inmates plastered. Weird) and gives one to LL. "You're okay," LL says. "Thanks. That means a lot," House snarks.

Remember Cindy? Cameron does, and she's drawing her blood for some more tests. Cindy asks if they have any idea what's wrong with her, and Cameron says that diagnostics is more of an "art than a science" (which is what you'd think, too, if your doctorate of medicine came from Art Instruction Schools), and that they don't know enough yet to be sure of anything. "Should I be worried?" Cindy asks, and there's really no other way to take that and no other way to answer it, provided that you're capable of the sort of mature interactions being a doctor requires. Obviously, that's not the case with old Cammy, so she just says: "I work for one of the top diagnosticians in the country. We're pouring all of energy into figuring this out."

The only pouring that's actually happening is back in LL's room, where the bottle is almost empty and House is beating LL in their drinking contest by at least three shots. Wow, they've both had enough alcohol to be dead by now, or at least not able to stand. House pours another shot and makes fun of LL for being pretty bad at drinking for a Death Row inmate, and then downs the shot himself. "You'd better get me the next one or I'll kill you," LL says. They look at each other for second, and then LL starts laughing. House laughs, too, and pours another shot, but their merriment is short-lived, because Cameron's here. "I'm a little busy right now getting my drink on," House slurs. "Unbelievable," Cameron says; she does an impersonation of Mary Tyler Moore's panic face and leaves. If they just relegated Cameron to doing that, I'd be happy. "That's the finest piece I've seen in ten years," LL says, reading the lines Jennifer Morrison paid him to ad-lib. "I coulda hit that," House slurs. But he didn't, and LL says that House should be in jail, not him. House laughs, hands LL another shot, and then asks LL why a guy on Death Row would try to kill himself. LL's face: "I'm busted." House's: "I'm plastered." House says he knows that LL drank copier fluid to kill himself. He just wants to know why. LL sighs and says that "it just hit" him that, in jail, people control your actions. He wanted to take control of something, so he decided to choose when to die. And he screwed it up, because although he ingested a lethal dose of copier fluid, the poisonous methanol is neutralized by ethanol, which LL has also had enough of. So, he'll be peeing out that lethal dose. "Man, you are drunk," LL says. "Yes, I am. I also saved your life," House says, and downs another shot, "at least for now!" He laughs. LL does not.

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