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Zero To 60 In Three Days

Kent Farm by day. The cows have stopped caring that there's a TV show going on around them. MamaKent -- who looks like she just got home (she works an all-nighter?) -- asks where Evan is. Clark says he's in the barn with Lana. Bo remarks on how amazing that growth spurt was. I guess that kid really is going to just grow himself! MamaKent says it's scary. She wants him to see a doctor. Bo and Clark have heard this one before, too. Clark asks what they're going to tell the doctor: "That he's a second-generation meteor freak?" Ow. That one stung. Clark echoes his parents' old fear that the kid will end up in a lab somewhere. Clark suggests that they take the kid to someone who has experience with the effects of meteor rock. Bo instantly knows who it is. He says he doesn't want to put Evan's life in Lex's hands. Wow, Clark. Given how much you've been trying to keep the family's secrets from Lex, this seems like a pretty boneheaded move, even for you. Nevertheless, Clark wins the argument by asking his folks what they'd do if Clark were in trouble and Lex was the only person who could help. That's a pretty cheap way to win an argument.

The Barnness of Daycaretude. Lana sits on Clark's couch with Evan. He's reading from an oversized book, The Velveteen Rabbit. Lana marvels: "You know how to read?" Nice babysitting there, Lana. Incidentally, I've been told by my parents that I did the exact same thing when I was around four or five. My mom saw me reading a book at the counter and she was like, "You can read?" I think I said, "Yeah. Now, where do we keep the William S. Burroughs books?" The next year, I did my parents' taxes. The kid says he's read all of Clark's books, but that this one's his favorite. Jeez, how long have they kept him up here? He asks, "By the way. What's a 'gay erotica'?'" Evan says he also likes the encyclopedia. In an overly avuncular way, Lana says that's a pretty big book. Books, Lana. It's a set of books. Well, most of the time, at least. The kid says he stopped at W. Why stop there? He asks if Lana knew that windmills were invented in Persia. Dude, she doesn't even know where Belgian waffles came from. Lana is amazed and a little scared. The kid asks why Lana is looking at him like that. Holy Haley Joel Osment! Lana baby-talks that he's a very special boy -- perhaps the most special boy she's ever met. "Really?" he asks. Oh yeah. She also says he's lucky, because there are so many more books for him to read and so many more things for him to see. Wow. That's gonna be pretty sad in a few minutes. Lana gushes that he can see a real windmill, and see the whole world laid out around him. "Can we go? Right now?" Evan asks. Naw, let's save it for the end of the episode.

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