An Owl In A Thornbush

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We're On A Mission From Caesar

Julii Cooper and a bent-old-lady servant step outside the gates of her compound, where Timon -- the goaty little man from the premiere -- is waiting, obliging his mistress with a hand kiss. Julii Cooper starts to say she's throwing yet another shindig, but stops short when she realizes that Timon is wearing perfume. "It's horrid," she judges. "Horse shit suits you much better." With that, she gets down to business: she wants Timon to get some guys and provide security for her party guests. Timon asks whether a party's such a good idea right now. "Perfume? Advice? Whatever next?" Julii Cooper sighs. Timon says that it might be wise for Caesar-supporters like Julii Cooper to lie low, given the fact that Caesar is in rather poor odor at the moment, but Julii Cooper refuses to be intimidated. Timon says that means he'll need more guys, and that it's going to cost her. Julii Cooper pretends like he's talking about money, until he gets right up in her grill to say she knows what he really wants. And just in case we don't, he's smirking like Turtle from Entourage as he says it. Julii Cooper gives him a slap upside the face. It's rather anemic, probably because he's too close for her to get any leverage into it. She smacked her daughter way harder than that last week. "You forget your place," she says coldly. Timon says that his place is with his family, whom he would be happy to return to if she only says the word. Julii Cooper agrees that he'll be "properly rewarded," and turns to go back inside, almost but not quite in time to avoid a quick pinch on the boob from her admirer. "Thank you, Domina," he calls after her retreating back.

Vorenus, Pullo, and their little cavalry ride down a hillside at a gallop. Actually, Pullo is in the lead, which I think is because Vorenus's sideways-mohawk helmet makes him less aerodynamic. They stop when they come around a copse of trees and spot a little encampment of red-caped Roman soldiers some distance away. Vorenus realizes that these are Pompey's outriders, which means that they'll all be on crosses in a matter of days. What a Gloomy Gus, with his crucifixion prediction. Pullo says that if that's the case, they're better off dying now. Vorenus reminds Pullo that their orders are to "advance until resistance is met," and resistance is right in front of them, although this "resistance" has thus far neither seen them nor heard their increasingly loud debate. Pullo doesn't care, and calls back to the guys to ask if they're up for a scrap. They loudly holler back that they are, which would alert all but the noisiest campers to their presence. Pullo leads them at full gallop into the camp, hollering with swords unsheathed while Vorenus ineffectually tries to call them back. I don't know why he doesn't threaten to have Pullo crucified for insubordination again. Maybe it's because he owes Pullo for paying for Vorenus's brain surgery on Pullo's dining-room table. Oh, wait, it's the other way around. Now I don't know why Vorenus doesn't kill Pullo right out of his saddle.

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