Astral Monkey

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Astral Monkey

Speaking of closets . . . Halliwell Manor. Piper's room. A figure in white drawstring pants, ponytail, and a dotted white top is throwing clothes out of the closet. "Free" Leo"der" Wyatt orbs in, kneels down to this person, and whispers, "Ever done it on a cloud?" Huh? Is that anything like "swinging on a star"? Oh wait, that might be Prue's subplot this episode. Anyway, the person in the closet turns around and -- get this -- it's Phoebe, not Piper. She quips in reply, "I don't know. Does a featherbed count?" Zing! Not. Leo blushes. Phoebe admits that she is in his girlfriend's room. Leo apologizes. Phoebe passive-aggressives, "No worries. It could happen to anyone, especially someone who doesn't have to knock when they come in, you know." Leo: "It won't happen again; you have my word." Phoebe: "And you have my word. I won't tell Piper." Leo counters with a blackmail threat to tell Piper that Pheebs was rummaging through her wardrobe without asking. Actually, he leaves to meet up with Piper in the kitchen. Phoebe pulls a piece of paper and a pencil out of her pants and writes, "Item #2. Orbing in unnannounced." She reads this aloud for the vast radio audience. Phoebe will stop at nothing to ensure that she's the only full-fledged freeloader at Halliwell Manor.

Kitchen. Piper in a green "fretful mood" cardigan (natch) is upset because Dr. Williamson has called her. She refuses to come in to the hospital to meet with him. Dr. W pleads for her help. Piper: "Goodbye, Doctor." She hangs up. Cut to Dr. W, all sweaty-faced, clawing at his neck wound. He TKs some books and his computer terminal against the wall. The chimpanPs shriek some more. I'm really surprised that animal testing goes on at the hospital; it doesn't look like the place is affiliated with a university or anything. But I don't know much about these matters.

Cut back to Piper. Leo walks in and says hello. Piper expositions about Dr. W. Then she asks Leo why he's visiting. He explains that he has the day off, and wants to spend it with her. They embrace. Piper looks worried. She tells Leo that she fears that Dr. W might have found out that she was cured by supernatural means.

Hospital. Dr. W is called to his sister's room. Cut to a shot of the chimpanPs' cages. ChimpanPrue's head slumps forward.

Studio. Prue is taking pictures of Evan. As she did with Maggie Murphy in "Murphy's Luck," she's plopped her subject in a chair in really harsh lighting while she snaps photos from about ten yards away. Is Prue sure she's really not taking class pictures for a junior high yearbook? Just then, Astral ChimpanPrue appears behind Evan's chair. She waves her hairy mitt at Prue, as if to say, "Hey." Prue uses her camera lens to focus on the hospital bracelet around the monkey's wrist so she can get a better look at it. THEN she starts to freak and puts her camera down, exclaiming, "What a cute monkey!" Um, wouldn't her reactions be more believable the other way around? Anyway, ES is all "the hell?" Prue tells him to look behind his chair. But Astral ChimpanPrue disappears before Evan gets a glimpse of her. Prue gapes. She puts away her camera and gets her stuff together to leave the shoot. ES: "But you just got started." Prue: "And I got a great shot, it was perfect." Besides, she has to save film on this roll for the Foreign Language faculty, the cheerleaders, and the Chess Club. Prue's about to make it to the SUV in the parking lot when ES follows her out and accosts her; she forgot her car keys. The keys drop to the ground in the hand-off and Prue and ES both kneel down to fetch them. Cue the EVIL TABLOID PHOTOGRAPHERS parked in a car nearby. They snap shots of Prue and ES in such a way that it's implied that Prue is necking with a hot male stud on the concrete ground. But we all know Prue's a nice girl who would never do anything like that. Evil paparazzi.

Halliwell Manor. Kitchen. Prue bursts into the room. Phoebe is examining a floral arrangement. Prue tells Pheebs that she'll "never guess what happened." Pheebs guesses that Prue is "living the movie Notting Hill." Not even close, Pheebs, unless this subplot means to ape that flick while reversing the roles; Prue as the nobody shrew to Evan's movie star nice-guy. ["Heh - 'ape.'" -- Sars] Phoebe explains that the flowers are from Evan; the card asks, "What really happened?" I'm sorry, but I don't believe even Harrison Ford, the monumental mega-star at the center of the Fametracker galaxy, could have found a way to get the flowers delivered to the manor in the time it took Prue to drive there from the studio. Whatever! Phoebe prattles on, "I hope you're happy. You're stealing away my dream man!" Um, shouldn't that be "dream man of the week"? Remember Billy from "Chick Flick"? The continuity-deficient writers sure don't. Prue asks Phoebe where Piper is. Phoebe bitches, "In the living room. With Leo. AGAIN." Phoebe indicates the direction of their presence in a three-quarter profile close-up confirming that yes, her nose is officially out of joint. Phoebe gets back on topic and wonders why Evan sent Prue flowers. Prue has no idea. She bends over to smell the blossoms but Phoebe barks at her. Step back, Pheebs.

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