House
Autopsy

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Crossing The Line

It looks like House has taken Wilson's advice and gone to the steam room after all. Oh, wait -- it's a bathroom, and House has called the Cottages in there because of the good acoustics. And it is a well-known fact that bathrooms have good acoustics. Didn't Lindsay Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac record half of "Tusk" in one? Then again, he also did a lot of coke. House tells the Cottages to listen to his iPod (which we see is an older model with the four buttons above the click wheel), which plays a recording of Andie's heart from her echocardiogram. They'll do podcasts of anything these days. Foreman asks what they're listening for, and House says they're listening for a tumor. Chase says that tumors are hard to hear, since they don't have mouths. True, although some have been known to have teeth and hair, and I heard of one that grew an entire lower jaw. I could prove it with a link, but I couldn't find any that didn't have some seriously disturbing pictures on them. So just take my word for it. House says that they're listening for abnormalities that might indicate the presence of a tumor, and plays audio from each of Andie's valves. No one hears anything, and House says that they all make him sad and goes to start the concert again. Chase asks why they're going to do life-risking surgery on someone who's only had one hallucination. House says that Wilson "thinks it'd be nice to give the girl a year to say goodbye to her mommy. I guess maybe she stutters or something." That's really funny, but you feel like an asshole laughing at it. House plays the heart's song again, and still, no one hears a thing. He goes to re-replay it, but Cameron tells him to wait. She's bent over the speakers, her eyes shut in concentration, and she hears it: an extra flap in the mitral valve. House is as pleased with her as he gets and says that he's telling the surgeon to check out the mitral valve first, since that's the most likely location of the tumor they don't even know is there. He orders Chase to watch the surgery, since he doesn't like reading the surgeon's reports after the fact and he loves to make Chase uncomfortable, and Chase says he doesn't think it's a good idea for him to be around Andie anymore. House says that Andie's state of unconsciousness should reduce the risk of sexual harm to Chase's person. The Cottages file out of the bathroom, leaving House to enjoy some opera while the rest of the bathroom's occupants wonder what the hell is going on out there.

Andie is wheeled into surgery. Mom is worried, but Andie reassures her that it'll go fine. They walk by House and Wilson, and Wilson comments that Andie is a brave kid. House's jaded response is that everyone always says kids with cancer are brave, and that it's statistically impossible. There has to be one kid who's a "whiny little fraidy-cat." When the Jimmy Fund collection jar comes around at the movie theater, I have a feeling House doesn't put anything in it. Wilson calls House "unbelievable," and says that Andie has handled an "impossible situation" with grace, and should be admired. House says that Wilson sees grace because he wants to see grace, and that "idolizing is pathological with you people." I hope that by "you people" he meant oncologists and not Jews, because that would be kind of offensive. Oh, what am I even saying -- of COURSE he meant Jews. House turns it around on Wilson, saying that Wilson's been some idolizing of "Debbie in Accounting," lately, and then studies Wilson's face for a reaction that will tell him more information he shouldn't be so interested in. Wilson changes the subject back to Andie, and asks why he shouldn't like a dying girl. House says that when you're dying, all of a sudden, everyone loves you. "You have a cane; nobody even likes you!" Wilson snaps. "I'm not terminal; merely pathetic," says House. "You wouldn't believe the crap people let me get away with." He limps off. Wilson wonders if maybe he should stop letting House get away with talking trash about dying children.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

House

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP