Beg, Barter, Steal

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 2 USERS: A+
Yo-Ho-Ho And A Bottle Of Dumb

Elsewhere in the village, some of the boys of the Drake tribe are bringing their life ring up a hill with their meager collection of possessions in it. Burton and Shawn leave an exhausted and jeans-bemoaning Rupert to sit with the stuff and wait while they (presumably) go off in search of the rest of the tribe and the necessary supplies. While Rupert is sitting with the life ring, most of Morgan brings its life ring up and plunks it down next to Rupert. Then, they all leave. "This is definitely a pirate adventure," Rupert growls in an interview, adding, "Pirates pillage. Pirates steal." Back in the village, he steps over to the Morgan life ring and retrieves all of Morgan's equally meager collection of possessions -- looks like it's mostly the shoes that the members of Morgan were wearing when they jumped, as well as some miscellany like insoles. Happy with the take, he walks off, dragging the ring behind him. Rupert now makes his way to a couple of little market stands, where he trades one of the pairs of shoes for a knife and another for a pineapple. (I kind of think he got taken on that last transaction, but...whatever.) "Yeah, it's a harrrrd life livin' the pirate's life," Rupert says, just barely holding back the "arrrrrr" he clearly wants to add at the end. I will allow the pirate accent once. Once. That's pretty much my Pirate Accent Yearly Allowance, right there, so let's not make it a habit, Rupert.

Commercials. I can't figure out whether "x = (George Clooney) + (Coen Brothers) - (Catherine Zeta-Jones)" yields a negative or positive value for x. I know the absolute value is very small.

Back in Bargaintown, Tijuana and Osten are comparing notes. They've got water and knives; she suggests that flint and steel might be the next target. (I guess matches are too obvious.) Osten wants fishing stuff. He interviews that their approach to supplies at the village was "chaotic," which is becoming pretty clear. Osten barters some of his stuff -- namely his belt and his shoes -- to get more supplies. Next, going for that Gallant Gentleman of the Year award, he gathers Darrah, Nicole, and Lillian together in a huddle and tells them that when dealing with the horny old men, they'll want to flash their breasts around as much as possible in order to get better deals. I understand about using your wiles and stuff, but as a guy, you just don't give that command. Particularly, you don't give it to women you don't know. Nicole feels similarly, saying that it squicked her out that Osten did this without even knowing their names yet. "I was just like, 'This guy's a jerk,'" she says.

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