Beware Of Dog

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admin: C+ | Grade It Now!
The Muppet Masters

Chiana roams the corridor, calling, "Yoo-hoo, little Vorc thingy?" D'Argo appears from a neighboring corridor and explains that, if there is a parasite, they need to know what it looks like, and that's why they need to follow the Vorc. Why do they need to know what it looks like? Just to reassure Crichton that it's the same thing he saw? For that matter, why can't Pilot locate it? It's almost like Pilot's abilities ebb and flow according to the needs of the plot. Wacky. Anyway, while Chiana and D'Argo chat, we go to monster-cam for a second and hear snarls as something stares at them from further down the corridor. Chiana tells D'Argo, "Fine, you follow the Vorc!" and stomps off. D'Argo mimics her, sneering, "You follow the Vorc," and walks away in the opposite direction. Great, now I'm imagining the Vorc as Toucan Sam. There's certainly no shortage of fruit loops when Crichton's around.

Aeryn examines the two small punctures below her belly button from the Vorc's bite. Still looking down at her torso, she walks into her own cell and then there's a squishy sound. She lifts her boot and groans at the sight of some, well, Vorc shit. Wacky toots on the soundtrack as she looks up to see the Vorc sitting on her bed. It lifts a finger toward its face and wiggles its ears at her. Aeryn moves toward it, ordering, "Get. Off. My bed." The Vorc coos at her. She reaches out and shoves her hand into its face like she's Cary Grant and it's Katharine Hepburn. As it tumbles, the Vorc says, "Waaah." She calls for Chiana, and the Vorc suddenly rears up like a bop bag. "Get off my bed!" Aeryn repeats. She shoves it again, and calls for D'Argo. She tells him, "That filthy little creature of yours is down in my quarters, and it's using them as a toilet." We cut to the sight of the Vorc rocking up and down against Aeryn's leg with an expression of, well, deep-seated need. "Among other things," Aeryn adds in a strained voice. D'Argo assures her that the Vorc has to become familiar with its environment. Very familiar, apparently. Aeryn threatens to toss the Vorc out an airlock. Suddenly the Vorc stops humping Aeryn's shin and sniffs the air eagerly. With another burst of ear-flapping, it hurries out, squealing. I wish it moved more naturally. I don't need to actually see its feet, but even actual Muppets tend to replicate that little sine wave of natural movement, whereas this thing zips around like it's riding a skateboard. Aeryn reports that the Vorc has picked up a scent. D'Argo breaks into a run, and tells her to follow it. Follow its nose -- it always knows!

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