Beware Of Dog

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | Grade It Now!
The Muppet Masters

By the time Crichton arrives, Rygel is poking a finger between D'Argo's lips. Mouth on the puppet! Ew. He mutters, "Oh, come on, Luxan, come on. You must not die." Crichton checks on Chiana, who's okay, and asks what the hell Rygel's doing. Rygel says, "He wasn't breathing. And I'm fine too, thanks for asking." D'Argo distracts us all from that by dazedly gasping that the thing Crichton saw is real. Crichton says, "Yeah, I know." Heh. Then D'Argo gasps and starts going into convulsions. Chiana and Crichton try to pin him down as Aeryn arrives and calls Zhaan to come help.

Later, D'Argo is unconscious on an exam table, and Zhaan is waving a fluorescent light over him. Being a plant makes her think that light fixes everything. She looks over at a nice 3D image of D'Argo's insides and tells Chiana that she's done everything she can, "but he appears to have some kind of secondary infection." Chiana frets, and Zhaan tells her to either shut up or shove off. Chiana finds a third option, and starts to nag Crichton about finding the monster.

Aeryn and Crichton are prowling around, searching for the monster. Crichton waves Aeryn into a cell. They notice crumbs scattered across the floor, and silently advance with their guns drawn. The camera follows chittery noises over to the Vorc. Cue the syntho-bops of comedy as it sits in a small nook, eating. Aeryn tells Chiana that they found the Vorc. Chiana sighs, "That thing's useless." Aeryn points out that it was heading for the maintenance bay when she was attacked. Crichton asks, "Isn't the Vorc supposed to kill the parasite, not just point it out?" Aeryn wonders how the wee Vorc could kill something powerful enough to knock D'Argo out. Crichton says, "We could use to flush the parasite out. It could be our bird dog." He reaches into the nook to grab the Vorc, but it jumps at him and whines angrily. Crichton nervously heads for the door, telling Aeryn that it's her job to bring the Vorc. As he exits, he hisses, "I hate critters!"

D'Argo has woken up, and Chiana leans over his blanketed form. She asks, "You want to tell me something?" and leans over as he whispers something in her ear. She chuckles, "D'Argo, you're in no condition for sex." D'Argo laughs that it might kill him, and then starts coughing. Zhaan is peering through a microscope when she suddenly jerks upright and looks horrified. She announces, "D'Argo's been poisoned. There's an alien toxin in his blood stream and it's killing him." Is that supposed to be a revelation? Something bit him, the bite itself wasn't serious but he's had a horrible reaction -- and it took this long to figure out that maybe the bite was poisonous? Man. They should consider hiring a real doctor. Chiana asks if Zhaan can make an antidote, and Zhaan hesitantly says that she'll try. Given how long it took her to come up with a diagnosis, I share her lack of confidence.

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