Survivor
Big Trek, Big Trouble, Big Surprise

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Reconstituted Beefcake

Night falls. The moon is in the sky, as expected. Blake is undoubtedly still throwing up, as expected.

Morning. Day 3. Survivor Hell. A furry spider, on the other hand, is having the time of its life. Steph and Amy go and get some treemail, and when they take it back to Yaxha, the crew finds out that it suggests...well, nothing, really, except for the usual blather about winning and losing and not being last. As the tribe chats before the challenge, Steph voices over that having another shot at winning immunity is "exciting" for her. Because...you know. She never did. Ever. Win immunity.

Meanwhile, at Nakum, they review the treemail as Bobby Jon voices over that the tribe isn't in good shape physically, which is a concern going into the challenge. Margaret insists that nobody is going home. Bobby Jon adds in an interview that the women are stronger than the men right now, but that they can still win if the guys really pour it on. Not exactly your typical posture going into an opening challenge.

Challenge beach. The teams arrive, and Jeff welcomes the unwieldy, large crowd. Thin the herd! Thin the herd! Jeff pulls a cloth off the immunity idol, and the entire group cheers, because they're not sure what the hell else to do. Jeff, still wearing the dork hat, goes through his usual spiel about the importance of immunity, as if they don't know, which is, at this point, kind of like Alex Trebek explaining that the objective of Jeopardy! is to wind up with more money than anyone else. I'm pretty sure laughing is considered rude.

Jeff says that the challenge is based on the way that the Maya transported material for pyramids. First, all nine of them will get in a boat and paddle out to grab a torch, going around a buoy on the way. Then once they reach land again, they'll have to pull the boat up the shore by having four people run up the hill, sit facing the boat, and start hauling it in on a big rope. The boat will be moved by allowing it to roll over a series of logs. When you leave a log behind, you move it up to the front, and so forth. ("This is how the Maya did it," Jeff says, just as if he'd been there, which he was, compared to his girlfriend. Yeah, I said it.) Once you get the boat up across the finish line, the torch-carrier lights a fire with the torch, and your team is done. First to finish -- duh! -- wins immunity. Furthermore, Yaxha will, should it win, get fire. You can tell Jeff really loves the way he looks in that damn hat.

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Survivor

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