Supernatural

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 1 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Hardy Boys Stifle Their Gag Reflexes

Cut to the low-slung façade of the Candler County Hospital, because Kripke & Ko. couldn't find suitably cheap stock footage of the corresponding facility in Carbon County, Montana. Though, you know, where in hell did they find stock footage of this place, which is in deeply rural -- as in Deliverance rural -- Georgia? People will take pictures of anything. ("Delicious!" approves The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon, smacking his lips.) ANY-way, where the hell was I? Oh, yeah: Inside, Dean and Sam, clad in white doctor's jackets for this portion of the evening's entertainment, burst through a door to find an unsettlingly attractive morgue assistant named "Jeff Manners," whom they proceed to LIE TO in order to gain access to the morgue's contents. As soon as poor, unsettlingly attractive Jeff has scampered off on his fool's errand, Sam locks the door so Dean can ask, "Those Satanists in Florida, they marked their victims, didn't they?" "Yeah," Sam confirms as he grabs a pair of proffered latex gloves from Dean, "a reverse pentacle on the forehead." "So much effed-up crap happens in Florida," Dean sighs to himself as he follows Sam into the morgue proper, and I don't even know where to begin with the links in support of that statement, so I'll just jump ahead to join the boys as they...

...slide open the drawer containing what remains of the brunette from the top of the hour, who was identified in the last scene as "Christina Flanagan." "All right," Dean nods at the plastic container between Dead Christina's legs, "open it." "You open it," Sam frowns, freaked. "Wuss!" Dean smirks amusingly as he hoists the container over to an examining table. Sam looks beleaguered. And broad-shouldered. Very, very broad-shouldered. Yum. Has The Padalecki been working out or something? 'Cause it looks like he got yoooge over the summer. And, you know, he wasn't that small to begin with. Ahem. In any event, Dean's flipped the lid off the container to reveal Dead Christina's head lolling around inside. Our Intrepid Heroes are disheartened to note a dearth of suitably Satanic carvings on Dead Christina's forehead. A cute little moment follows wherein Dean invokes the undead spirit of The Silence of the Lambs to tease Sam into examining the corpse-head's mouth for Buffalo Bill-like leave-behinds, and as Sam's latexed fingers begin squishily probing Dead Christina's gullet, Sammy bleats, "Dean, get a bucket?" "Why, you find something?" "No, I'm gonna puke." Awwww. Sam eventually ends his fruitless poking and withdraws his fingers, volubly squicked. "Wait," Dean interrupts. "Lift her lip again." "You want me to throw up!" Sam protests, but Dean actually caught sight of something unusual at Dead Christina's upper gumline. Dean reaches in past the disgustingly mottled skin surrounding the corpse head's lips and presses, in the process forcing a single fang to emerge and drop over Dead Christina's front teeth. DUN! "Well, this changes things," Sam breathes. "Ya think?" Dean duhs.

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Supernatural

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