Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 2 USERS: B
Off With the Hardy Boys' Heads!

Inside the morgue, Sam goes over what the newspaper said about Shoemaker's death. Can I tell you how much I love that their "research" always simply involves reading a newspaper? I think one of my students must write this show, as I have seen my fair share of attempts to write a ten-page "research" paper using four one-paragraph newspaper items for support. According to Sam, "the newspaper" told him that Shoemaker's daughter found him and that his eyes were bleeding. In what world would that detail make it into a newspaper? BMiS is a real creep, because he then says, with relish, "More than that. They practically liquefied" as he pulls back the sheet to reveal Daddy Shoemaker's soup eyes. BMiS continues to creep me out as he jovially relates that they don't know what he died from, but think it was some sort of aneurysm or stroke. He clarifies, "Something burst up in there. Intense cerebral bleeding. This guy had more blood in his skull than anyone I've ever seen." Close-up of Shoemaker's empty, blood pudding eye sockets. Ugh. Sam wants to know what would make anybody's eyes do that. I want to know why I am recapping blood pudding eyeballs rather than poking around on eBay for a set of Paul McCobb end tables. The boys continue to trade Garbage Pail Kids, talking about exploding eyeballs and such. Dean asks to see the police report, but BSiM gets coy and says he isn't supposed to. Sam fishes around in his Members Only jacket for his wallet -- which, Sammy, please don't keep your wallet in your front jacket pocket, it's just going to fall out one day -- as Dean cries some more over losing his poker winnings.

The brothers, on their way out of the hospital, discuss whether or not the case is "one of ours or just some freak medical thing." Dean replies, "How many times, in Dad's long and varied career, has it ever been 'some freak medical thing'?" Good question, Dean. And while we are on the theme of "good questions," I have one for you: "Why will you continue, over the course of the next ten episodes, wondering if the case you are investigating is actually not a supernatural case, a suggestion that merely draws out the intensely boring part of the show?" Anytime you want to answer, just shoot me an email: Sam realizes Dean is right, and if we were lucky, we would never have to hear this conversation again, but we are not lucky, and we will hear this same exact conversation on a weekly basis for the rest of the season. They decide to go talk to Daughter Shoemaker.The brothers walk through an open front door of the house, where a thumping funeral after-party is underway. That front door hanging open, it's just taunting me, it's shouting "nanny nanny boo boo!" at me, just waiting for me to ask, "Who leaves their front door wide open, especially when hosting a somber, non-drunken affair such as a funeral brunch?" but I WILL NOT COMPLY. The brothers are clearly out of place in their grubby leather and jeans. They make a beeline through the house, straight out to the backyard and up to a gathering of young women, and Dean zeroes in on one of them to ask, "You must be Donna, right?" What? How would he know which one of them was the Shoemaker daughter? The brothers give their condolences and introduce themselves, claiming that they worked with her dad. They mention his stroke, and her friend -- a Kristin Cavalleri type -- tells them to bug off basically. Donna jumps in and says that it's okay, and we get a shot of Lily sitting next to her big sister. Dean asks a set of really invasive and inappropriate questions about whether her father had symptoms. Donna says no, but Lily jumps in and blurts, "That's because it wasn't a stroke!" Donna tries to get her little sister to shut up, but Sam has taken this opportunity to stop time, run to the nearest phone booth, don his Sympathy Man leotard, and return to their conversation. He kneels down next to Lily and asks what she means. She confesses that right before her father died she "said Bloody Mary three times in the bathroom mirror. She took his eyes, that's what she does."

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