Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
Maybe This Time

Ivy comes out on stage in one of Marilyn's costumes and greets Eileen, Tom, and Julia. Eileen says she knows it's a lot to ask -- but then Derek and Karen arrive, with Karen in costume. Eileen puts her hand on Ivy's shoulder and Ivy smiles and says it's okay, then goes to get changed. Derek calls the company in and demands the new song from Julia and Tom. He places Karen in front of the footlights and everything begins to rotate around her, the way she thinks it should.

In the dressing room, Ivy is still in costume when Momadette Peters shows up, a bottle of champagne clutched in her fist, which I like to imagine is how she goes everywhere. The bank, the gynecologist, jury duty. Ivy asks why she's here, and Momadette says, "How could I miss it? You're going to play Marilyn." Ivy says they didn't pick her, that she's just in the chorus, and tells Momadette she might as well go home. Ivy pulls off her wig and Momadette does not offer her the slightest shred of condolence, or even a big swig of booze to take the edge off.

And we're where we started, with Tom and Julia scribbling the last lyrics. Everyone tells Karen to break a leg as she heads to the stage, and I'm sorry, I know there's magic and adrenaline and whatever the hell, but there is just no way Karen could technically accomplish this entire show. It's too complicated and there's no precedent for her being a savant and NO.

The shadow selves begin telling Marilyn how worthless she is, and Karen begins singing "Fade in on a girl." The blocking here mirrors the very first scene in the show, when Karen was singing "Over the Rainbow." We skip to "Twentieth Century Fox Mambo," and then into "Lexington and Fifty-Second Street," which I still don't like. Out in the audience, Jerry curses to himself, which I guess means he likes it.

In the dressing room, Ivy is staring at herself in the mirror hatefully. Onstage, Karen is doing the suicide scene, so they've finally gotten her naked in bed the way Derek wanted her. She is completely blank behind the eyes. Marilyn expires on the last notes of "Secondhand White Baby Grand," and as Karen sings, "I still have something beautiful to give," Shrek looks at Julia and she tries to ignore the fact that she's inconveniently pregnant with another whimsically named Swift spawn.

Michael reprises "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" as Karen gets into her final costume. Derek nudges the wardrobe mistress out of the way and zips Karen's dress, saying, "Whatever happens, never doubt you're a star." Jesus CHRIST, show.

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