Britney 2.0

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It's Still Brittany, Bitch

...Coach Sylvester's office, and I'm not going to bother adequately explaining the edict Brittany issued as president of the senior class that orders Coach Sylvester to reinstate her, because I don't think anyone can adequately explain the edict Brittany issued as president of the senior class that orders Coach Sylvester to reinstate her -- including Brittany herself. "This is clearly the plan of an idiot," Coach Sylvester states, agreeing with me. "But a plan nonetheless," she concedes, adding, "and one that required the barest modicum of human logic which, frankly, I thought was beyond you." As a result, Coach Sylvester agrees to reinstate Brittany, though Brittany must get her grades up in order to graduate by the end of the current school year. Brit-Brit, of course, has already got a plan for that one: Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury have agreed to tutor her once a week, and Brittany's already showing progress, having received a C-minus on her most recent American History exam. Of course, her original grade was another F-minus, but the teacher bumped it up a bit because Brit-Brit completed the test in English, rather than the secret language she invented for herself in middle school. "Welcome back," Coach Sylvester smiles. Brit-Brit beams, and thanks Coach Sylvester in that secret language of hers.

My Ancestral Homeland. Much-Abused Rachel and St. Gay Of Lima chit-chat about Frankenteen while painting their new loft. Fast-forward. Fast-forward. Fast-forward. And...stop! Just as St. Gay decides to duck around to the neighborhood's Italian bakery to fetch them some cake, a certain someone comes a-knocking on their apartment door, and it's Dean Geyer, bearing a pair of massively broad shoulders along with a housewarming gift. St. Gay admirably keeps his eyes focused on their unexpected guest's for the time it takes to make introductions, and then he discreetly scuttles on out of there so Much-Abused Rachel might have a little alone time with her new man. He's such a good little Best Gay, isn't he?

And once the pesky roommate is gone, Dean Geyer bitches about how long it took him to get from Manhattan to Bushwick -- of course -- before presenting Rachel with the housewarming orchid he schlepped all the way out there on the J train. Surprisingly enough, the plant survived the trip, but that's not important right now because what is important right now is the fact that barely has Rachel had a chance to thank him when Dean Geyer moves in for a kiss. Instantly flustered, Rachel gently pushes him away, because she's still hung up on that pasty chunk of talent-free bloat she used to date in high school. Oh, and also because Rachel is still a fucking idiot. To his credit, Dean Geyer immediately retreats, though he does ask her to keep him in mind should her situation ever change with that pasty chunk of talent-free bloat she used to date in high school. You know, more or less. And after he's taken his leave, Idiot Rachel flails around her capacious loft like the fucking dumbass she has always been until we finally fall into this evening's final commercial break.

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