Britney 2.0

Episode Report Card
admin: A- | Grade It Now!
It's Still Brittany, Bitch

Meanwhile, Artie, Dreamboat Blaine, and Single-T Tina cringe as one in a far corner of the hallway, with Dreamboat Blaine wondering if they should intervene. "Nah," Single-T Tina shrugs after giving the matter very little thought, adding, "He deserves it." Yes, Single-T Tina. Yes, exactly. The three mumble amongst themselves regarding Brit-Brit's downward spiral for a bit, with Artie eventually suggesting they offer Brittany the spotlight during their upcoming pep rally performance, as she likely misses being the center of attention since Coach Sylvester booted her from The Cheerios.

And as the deeply unhinged Brit-Brit continues to pour out her wrath upon the odious Jewfro[less], New Puck rather obnoxiously whizzes past on a Razor scooter until Mr. Schue busts him for violating school policy on... wait a minute. Does Will really not notice the glorious beatdown Brit-Brit's laying on Jewfro[less]'s sick ass not fifteen feet away from the goddamned music room? God, I hate this show. ANY-way, Mr. Schue lectures New Puck about... something I totally don't care about because New Puck thus far is nothing more than an incredibly pale imitation of Old Puck, so I'll be skipping ahead to bit where...

...crap! This next scene involves Boring New Puck and His Goddamned Guitar flirting with Boring New Rachel and Her Dire Headband out on the football field's bleachers, and as I have never, ever given a rat's ass about the tedious romantic relationships on this show, and as I especially don't give a rat's ass about the tedious romantic relationship now burgeoning between these two tiresome bits of nothing, I'll be skipping ahead to the number they eventually perform together, which is a stripped-down and surprisingly sweet-sounding medley that combines Other Britney's "(You Drive Me) Crazy" with Aerosmith's "Crazy." And "surprisingly sweet-sounding" is about all I can say regarding this performance, because these two characters are still total blanks at this point. Well, not blanks, exactly -- more like indifferently tacked-together collections of character points and quirks left over from the cast members they fired at the end of last season. I think. And it's a shame, really. They had the opportunity to try something completely different with each of the people they added this year, but they instead decided instead to recycle plotlines like Finn and Sam's stinging poverty and Old Quinn and Old Puck's deep-seated rage and abandonment issues -- plotlines, I should note, that this show already fucked up the first time it ran through them two or three seasons ago -- and so we're left with this crap. You don't get do-overs, Glee. Thank God Our Brittany decided to lose whatever was left of her scattered little mind this week, 'cause if she hadn't, I'd be catatonic with either boredom or fury by this point.

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