Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 1 USERS: F
Sarah Versus The Whole Entire World

Sarah, having had it, is very angry because it's been three days and they've been to five countries and every Castle agent is looking for Chuck and still nothing. The General gots nothing: "The Berlin team had an address for one of the Belgian's lieutenants, but by the time we got a search warrant, he was onto us and had disappeared. The same thing happened yesterday in Caracas. And our target dropped behind North Korean lines where we couldn't follow."

Sarah's like, "Fuck you and your teams." The General reminds her that there are these things called "laws" and "allies" of the government and all that, and Sarah invites her to fuck the laws also. The General tells Sarah to get some sleep; sleep can fuck itself. The General uses language as a weapon to remind Sarah that this isn't a TV show about her boyfriend but an international spymergency: "Be assured that the Intersect is a huge priority to the US, as is finding the Belgian before he sells our secrets." Fuck your secrets!

Casey does a neat calming move, putting his hand perpendicular across Sarah's forearm as lightly as possible, and they sign off. He reminds Walker to act like an adult and she's like, "Fuck your adult!" There's an exchange pointing back to last week about how she can be Girlfriend Sarah XOR Spy Sarah, and Casey reminds her that Spy Sarah has a much better shot of getting things done. "Fuck things!"

Morgan shows up and refers to himself as "daddy" a few times, with the news that "our Swiss operative" has figured out that there's an aide in the Thai Embassy in LA who works with the Belgian, specifically extorting and kidnapping and other things you might do on your off time as an ambassador's aide, named Chanarong. Casey points out that the embassy is Thai soil and Sarah yells, "Fuck your jurisdiction! Be Spy Casey, not Rational Casey!"

Before you know it, Sarah and Casey have brought a hideous cheap rug to the aide's office while wearing rug-installer outfits, and then it turns out that the rug is magic and somehow rolls itself up around the aide guy in some bizarre stop-motion action reminiscent of the magic of Elizabeth Montgomery. They dump him out on American soil -- an interrogation room in Castle -- and shit gets real.

Sarah gets all wrong on Chanarong, eventually scaring the pee out of Casey and Morgan. "Sarah's about to go all Kill Bill on this dude!" Um, and also you totally stormed an embassy and stole a national, which is kind of the headline, but don't worry, there are no consequences for that at any time."Walker knows what lines not to cross," Casey says, and even though she's in another room she's like, "Fuck your lines!" You know she's going to be evil in this episode because she has that pony-coif thing Rachel Bilson and Pink! used to wear, a.k.a. the most hateful hairdo of the last ten years. Nobody looks good with that shit going on.

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