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Ice to See You

Windmill outside. Rosycheeks, Sneaky Pete, and Crummy Chloe are walking along. Rosycheeks asks Chloe whether ShawnPop called her. She says no, but that she's not holding her breath. Pete makes excuses for men everywhere by explaining that sometimes guys get caught up for good reasons, like their grandmothers' deaths. We learn that Pete has a sister. Chloe says it doesn't matter, and Clark reiterates that ShawnPop is a "total dog." What is it with Rosycheeks and dogs? Sneaky Pete says that ShawnPop has always been nice to him, and that Clark shouldn't knock people who don't have Lana crushes for trying to make love connections. Pete is the only person in town who doesn't have a crush on Lana, so that's very easy for him to say. Pete says that Rosycheeks should try asking someone else Chloe. Chloe "whoa, whoa, whoa"s, and tells them both that she's not some sort of crash-test dummy on whom they can try out their dating skills. As someone mentioned in the forums, that's funny because Crash Test Dummies, the band, once recorded "Superman's Song." Chloe tells Clark that if he likes Lana, he should ask her out. She tells Pete to stop acting like a Vegas bookie picking his dates. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but she's on a roll. She concludes, "And both of you. Treat me better." The bus pulls up right at that moment. I still don't like her, even though that was a little bit charming.

For the first time, we get a different angle on the school as an establishing shot. I hadn't realized how damn yellow it is. Dark nurse's office. ShawnPop is sitting next to a lamp with a thermometer sticking out of his mouth. The nurse comes over and says it's flu season, and she doesn't know why he even came in. Maybe because he looks like Brawny Smurf with all that blue skin? ShawnPop tells the nurse that he hasn't been able to get warm. She takes the thermometer. It reads about 38°. "That can't be right. You're not a Popsicle," she says. No, he's a Shawnsicle. The nurse puts the thermometer back in (to his mouth) and as she feels his forehead, he grabs her hand. She shivers. "Now you're giving me the chills," she says. The white returns to ShawnPop's face. He gets up abruptly and says he's feeling fine now. He hands the nurse the blanket he was using, and leaves. She pulls out the thermometer from her breast pocket and looks at it again.

Kent Farm (minus the annoying "Kent Farm" signage). A chainsaw is cutting through a huge log. Don't they do anything on this farm besides cutting things with sharp objects and farm implements? The cut chunk of the log drops, and the cutter is revealed to be MamaKent, wearing goggles and the most un-wood-cutting peach sweater I've ever seen. She turns around, swinging the chainsaw as if she's in a Tobe Hooper movie and almost slices Lex in half when he suddenly appears, just inches from the saw. "Whoa!" Lex says. "I come in peace." He's holding his arms up, and I want him so badly to have a midget standing behind him so they can start doing the Safety Dance. MamaKent asks what brings Lex out to the farm, and he says -- as he picks up two logs (phallic Lex objects of the week) -- that he's after MamaKent's stunning artichokes. He'd like thirty of them for a dinner party he's throwing for the Smallville farming community. All three of them. Lex says he knows some farms are having financial troubles. MamaKent says that most folks aren't looking for loans. Lex says that's not what he's offering: he wants to be an investor. He goes on about helping farms modernize and stay competitive in the bustling Kansas corn marketplace. Dare to dream, Lex. Dare to dream. MamaKent says that maybe the town lost its connections. "If this town ever had connections, they wouldn't have named it Smallville," Lex says, and this seems like completely unnecessary dialogue. Lex brings it back home by mentioning Bo Kent and his non-love for the bald burgeoning farm investor. "Jonathan doesn't hate you," Mama Kent begins, and I see the shame and heartbreak in Lex's eyes as he waits for the "but" part. "It's just your family's track record" blah blah blah, MamaKent says. Lex says he intends to change that. Then he leaves. Without artichokes. But not before MamaKent looks on after him, wishing she had more to do on this show.

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