Covenant (2)

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The MB Strikes Back!

Kent Farm at night. Clark watches Lex's car drive away from just outside the barn. What was the time lapse on that? Enough for a barn quickie. As Clark looks wistfully at the trail of risen dust, Kara is there to insert some blonde hair and breasts into the proceedings. She tells Clark that he shouldn't concern involve himself in "their problems." Clark says he wants to help his friend. "You can't trust him," she says of Lex. She's really good at that standing and not emoting thing. She says it's human nature. Clark's not your bitch; don't hang your shit on him! Clark says that "they" are the people he cares about. Kara says that'll make it hard when they all betray him. Clark looks clueless or, as we've come to know it, "Clarkish." Kara tells "Kal-El" that he's not meant for this world. "You were meant for mine," she says. He tells her that his name is "Clark," and asks why he should believe her. She says it's the truth. Clark asks where she's been for the last fourteen years. If he joins her, she says, all his questions will be answered. Come, Luke Skywalker. Join the Empire! "That's not good enough," Clark says. He starts to walk away. She grips his arm. "Come with me," she says. Clark steps toward her and they float, high above the basketball rim, in cheesy CGI. Everyone sing along, now: "I can open your eyes! Take you wonder by wonder. Over, sideways, and under. On a magic carpet ride!" There needs to be a comical monkey here. Clark asks how she's doing this. Aw, man, well, man she had some magic dust! Yeah, magic dust! A little bit for Kara, a little bit for Jor-El, a little bit more for Jor-El, a little bit more for Jor-El! Kara says that Clark is doing it, too. Drug fiend! "I can't fly," Clark says. "Not yet," she tells him. She says that this is just the beginning. Of a really, really long scene. She says he has no idea how powerful he'll become. We zoom between the two and get a shot of the full moon. Sadly, it's not made of cheese. I think I'll go have some cheese now from the fridge. That moon got me hungry.

The moon dissolves, but only in the cinematic sense, to an overhead shot of Clark in the caves. He says that a fissure in the cave wall wasn't there the week before. The realtor is going to shit a brick; this knocks at least $10,000 off the offering price! Kara, standing behind Clark in her little dress, says that it opened to release her. She says it'll open again when the two of them go. It's one of those keyless entry cave walls. Kara tells Clark that she knows how sad he feels in our world. She says that he always feels like an outsider, and that those closest to Clark will never truly understand him. Hell, I've been writing about him for three seasons, and I sure don't. Kara says that it doesn't have to be that way. Clark backs away from where she's touching his shoulder, and asks if she's been down in the caves since the meteor shower. She says she was waiting for the time when "he" knew Clark would be ready. Who? Jor-El, Clark's birth dad! Haven't you been keeping up? Clark says that his birth father died on Krypton. Kara rebuts that his spirit and will live on in these cave walls. And according to that will, Clark has inherited a Kryptonian haunted house that he'll have to spend the night in to claim. Crazy Formerly Nude Kara says that Jor-El isn't the monster Clark imagines. For one thing, he doesn't have pincers for hands. Yet. Kara mentions that Jor-El saved Clark's life. I'm assuming she means as a baby. "To turn me into something I never wanted to be!" Clark complains, bitterly. Kara says that Clark has no idea what greatness lies in front of him. Clark asks Kara to tell him. She says she's only there to help the transition, and that everything Clark wants to know lies through the fissure. This is beginning to sound like a bad farmer's daughter joke. Kara says it has to be Clark's choice. Don't stick your dick in the hole in the cave, Clark! It's not worth it! Kara puts a hand on Clark's face and asks him to come with her. "I can't do this," he says. "Just know," she says, "when you're ready, I'll be waiting for you." Good thing these latter-day Kryptonians don't need to express emotions. It would make portraying them so much more difficult for human actors. We go to commercials off of Clark's intensely blank stare.

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