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Constant Craving

Cellulita's bathroom of doom. She's got on a tight red dress and rrrrooooowwwrr. Er, excuse me. She's got hair tendrils coming down and is lookin' mighty fine. Man, now I'm part of the problem. "Perfect," she says, looking into a mirror. Pete's at the door. He's in a suit, carrying flowers. "Whoa. Hi," he says when she answers it. "Perfect flowers for a perfect date," he says. Awww. Our little Sneaky Pete is growing up so fast! As they leave, Cellulita starts getting bad stomach pains. Pete offers to take her to the hospital. She looks a bit like Nicole Kidman when she grimaces. "I just need to eat," she says. She groans from the stomach again, and as Pete tries to help her, she throws off his hand and runs back inside. "You'll always been good to me, Pete," she says, "Go away!" Pete looks suitably stunned and ineffectual. Go to commercial. How funny is it that there's a Wendy's commercial for a bacon Swiss burger? The scene was a roast chicken that leaves you with heartburn.

Pete goes into the house, breaking and entering for about the billionth time. Did she not even lock the door? He goes around calling Cellulita's name, looking for her. She calls out, telling him to get away. The house is all dark and creepy. Cellulita says she doesn't want to hurt Pete. He says she couldn't hurt him, and finds her curled up on the kitchen floor. She tells him to leave again. Then she gets up, and she's got that hungry look, and not the sexual kind. Her stomach growls terribly. She lunges for Pete and throws him on the ground. He conks his head on the tile and loses consciousness. She straddles him on the floor, and her mouth opens up huge in silhouette. Just then, the front door opens as Clark does his thing. Cellulita runs out as Clark enters. He finds Pete on the ground, moaning. Our hero goes outside. He superspeeds to the greenhouse. As he enters, he sees kryptonite everywhere and all kinds of purple and green fluorescence. As he's looking around and getting weak, he gets slammed in the back with a shovel. Hasn't he been shoveled around before? "Why can't you leave me alone?" Cellulita asks. Clark tells her that she's sick and needs help. She smacks him around some more, and finally in the head, sending him through some glass. Where are your superpowers now, Clark? Bwa ha ha ha. Cellulita raises the shovel one last time, but before she strikes the final blow, she sees herself in some shards of unusually mirrory glass. She sees how ugly the hate has made her and feels bad about herself all over again. "I know how to stop this for good," she says, and shovels a gas line until it bursts. Then she hits the light panel, sending sparks flying. "Wait!" Clark says, but too late. The building explodes with them in it. Boom. Flames. Fire. Roasted marshmallows.

Pete stumbles out of the house, holding his hand to the back of his head where he got floored. He's wearing a little gold bow tie! He rushes over to where the fire has already died down. There, he finds Clark and Cellulita. "Is she okay?" Pete asks. Clark says they need to get her to a hospital. We pan back up to the smoldering greenhouse. Way to put Dad out of business, Cellulita. This scene was leftover pizza.

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