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Constant Craving

School. Pete goes up to Cellulita, who looks nervous, and asks if she's okay. She says she's fine, but has a stomach flu and can't keep anything down. Pete continues to worry and says that if she feels too sick to go with him to the party, he'll understand. Aw, we love you, Sneaky Pete. Cellulita smiles and says, "I wouldn't miss this for the world." Maybe for a bag of Cheetos, but not for the world. She walks away. She backs against a wall when her stomach starts gurgling again. She runs into Dustin, who tells her he's been watching her and that hitting the gym was a good idea. "You should take your own advice," she says lamely. Yeah, I guess he is a little paunchy. Then she bends over in pain. "You okay?" he asks, all of a sudden concerned about her well-being because she's skinny now. "I'm just a little hungry," she says. "Huh," he answers, eyes still beady and wee. Cellulita opens her coat, and Dustin just stares at her rack. "You, uh, like what you see?" she asks. She lures him by telling him that if he wants, he can see a little more. She's becoming a total succubus! MeanDustin, by the way, looks like he's got a permanent case of the "Wha?"s. This scene tastes like chocolate-covered strawberries, overripe.

Talky talky Clark and Lana scene on the benches. Lana is reading the book Jocko gave her, Confederacy of Dunces. Ah, I do so love the story of the UPN. It is revealed that sometimes Jocko surprises Lana with his sweetness, and that Lana is giving up control of her party to Nasty Nell. Clark asks if Lana has ever had a good birthday because she seems so anti. She says she did. When her parents were alive, they took her to a drive-in and there were Bugs Bunny cartoons before the movie. She got to sit in the front seat and felt all grown up. You know, before they became a cushion for an earth-bound meteorite. Much silly grinning from Clark. I taste cotton candy.

As Clark and Lana talk, we see Cellulita and MeanDustin walking by the bleachers and down toward the boiler room of the stadium. They're holding hands and all giggly. Poor Sneaky Pete. Cellulita takes off her jacket, thrusting her chest forward as Dustin gets all bad boy on her, saying nobody's going to see them. He comes up from behind her and starts trying to unbutton her pants. He asks if she really thought he meant that stuff when he said she was -- "Fat?" she interrupts. He does a Butthead "huh huh" at that. Cellulita guides his hands to her zipper as she tells him that he called her names and made her cry. He's not even listening right now. He's got "I did it all for the nookie!" playing on an endless loop in his head. "Wishing I was dead rather than fat," she says, and now I'm all sad. "Well, what can I say?" MeanDustin says, with his stupid smile still on his face. "You can say you're sorry," Cellulita tells him. She turns around and does her huge gaping maw face as suspenseful music plays. MeanDustin finally stops smiling. The taste of sour grapes pervades the scene.

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