Smallville
Crisis

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Outside in the rain. Bo approaches the trunk as the lightning and thunder have their say. "Go back to the house!" Chloe, bound, says inside the truck. Bo, holding his gun, tries to figure out why Chloe has her hands behind her back and is thrashing in the truck seat. "Chloe?" Bo calls. Before Chloe can warn him any more obviously, he's struck from behind by the now-doubly-lethal tire iron. Bo goes down. Heart attack? Maybe? No? All right then. Lana watches through the window as Poor Man's Wes Bentley picks up the shotgun and opens the truck driver's side door. He pulls Chloe out. She lands hard, head-first, on the ground. She's out. PM'sWB approaches the house and yells for Lana. He yells that if Lana doesn't come out, he'll kill Bo. Then he'll go after Chloe. I'm thinking a Lana sacrifice is in order here. Lana comes out of the house and stands on the porch: "Whatever you want, just don't hurt them anymore!" Lana comes out willingly. PM'sWB grabs her and shoves her in the truck. The camera pulls out to a wide shot, and then we go to commercials.

How is this stupid little jive-talking Sprite puppet not a complete and total ripoff of Li'l Penny?

Security-camera footage. The boring Metropolis cops are showing Lex footage of him and Dr. Poonie Tang walking down a laboratory hallway on a laptop. "You can't deny you're behind this," Cage Match says. Already, I tire of him. Lex says he's the one who called the ambulance after the massacre. He asks why he'd do that if he were behind the murders. Behind Lex, cops are taking notes and moving his stuff around. Cage Match is rendered silent, unwilling to consider the possibility that someone would commit a murder and then make it look as if they just stumbled on it and called the authorities. Cage's partner found something, and asks them to guess what it is. "Nothing that will incriminate me," Lex says. Actually, it's...something to incriminate Lex! It's a folder found inside Lex's briefcase that show him to be acting director of the lab. Lex opens it. "I've never seen these before," he says. "Amazing how that always happens," Cage Match says. Lex says he's being set up. Well, Cage says, they're doing a damn good job of it. Bravo for this police work! I'm absolutely glued to my seat. Oh, wait, that's just atrophy. Sorry. Cage tells Lex that he should reconsider his story.

Then Cage walks out into the hall to check in on Clark. Clark says he needs to go. Cage lies that Lex has been confessing for the last hour and that Clark should fess up too and stop trying to play the hero. I think Lex can hear you, dude. Clark catches the lie, too. "You're bluffing. He didn't admit to anything because he didn't do anything," Clark says, sticking up for LOVE! Cage asks if Clark really believes that. He suggests that Clark doesn't know his friend as well as he thinks he does. Cage's partner interrupts a criminal murder investigation interrogation to give Cage an update on a basketball game. Yeah, nice work, ass. He asks who Cage thinks they put in the game with five minutes left in the fourth quarter. "Gunnerson," Clark guesses. "Yeah," the partner says, "that guy throws more bricks than a mason." Where did this script come from? A wormhole to 1966? Clark tells Cage he has to go. The cop asks if they're keeping Clark from something. "Have you called my parents yet?" Clark demands. Or a lawyer? Cage says they're not answering. Clark says he thinks the newspapers would find it interesting that a minor was being held for questioning without a guardian. Cage caves. He tells Clark not to take any long vacations. Oh, no, dude, I need them to take about a three- or four-week vacation. Bad. Clark takes off.

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Smallville

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