Smallville
Crisis

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El Futuro

Back to the show. A small vial of clear liquid rolls across a shiny desk. It rolls toward an old, yet no less magnificent hand fondling a wireless mouse. Papa Luthor picks up the vial. "What is this?" he asks. Lex -- wearing a very chic black suit -- says it's "an experimental medication." Duh! "Not exactly FDA-approved, but I assume you're working on the patent," Lex adds. Papa Luthor goes back to his computer screen and tells Lex he doesn't have time for Twenty Questions. Go away, kid, ya bodder me. Lex says he knows about the lab at Metron. He even ducks and leans in a little as he says it. Papa Luthor massages his lower lip with his finger. Tastes like the blood of the innocent. Lex says that the lab gives new meaning to the term "human resources." Ha. Have I ever told you guys that there's a guy at my job in human resources named "Omar Gallegos"? Yeah, it's pretty freaky. Without looking Lex in the eye, Papa Luthor says that there are hundreds of projects in development at Luthorcorp. He apologizes for not being up to speed on every single one of them. He even pretends not to know what "Metron" is. Lex accuses Papa Luthor of secretly developing a serum that has "a certain Lazarus effect on the dearly departed." Papa Luthor gulps, mid-drink. "Resuscitating the dead?" he asks, and scoffs. Chuckling, he gets out of his chair as Lex smiles slyly. Papa Luthor tells Lex that his creative talents are being wasted at Luthorcorp. Lex should be writing for "Bald Attitude," the weekly fashion magazine for the aerodynamically topped man about town. Lex opens his steel briefcase and takes out a document. He says that the "Kafkaesque" experiments have made patients' bodies deteriorate while their minds remained conscious. Like being a member of the Osbourne family. Lex hands the document over. He says that if Papa Luthor can bypass the code of ethics, it could be big business. Papa Luthor says he applauds Lex's moral outrage, but that the document doesn't verify any of Lex's claims. Lex says they'd at least raise eyebrows at The Daily Planet. Papa chuckles again. It's a good week for chuckling. He says that Lex doesn't have to resort to threats if he wants to shut down the project. Au contraire, mon bastard. Lex wants to run the project. He'll be King of the Zombies! Papa Luthor thinks, "He is my son!" Lex smiles. Sexily. Cheating death is cool.

Boxes of clear vials in a neon-lit refrigerator. A monkey screeches. Screeeeech! That monkey is really milking this guest spot. Some suited agents wearing sunglasses pack up the vials in a big ice chest as white-coated lab workers watch. Dr. Poonie Tang rushes in and asks what they're doing. Even the ice chest has a neon light in it. She tells an agent that this is a restricted area. "Apparently not," says Papa Luthor, walking in from the shadows on a wave of magnificent fresh air. Papa Luthor takes a vial out of the ice chest and stares at it closely as he says that he now knows about Lex's recent visit to the lab. Tang says she doesn't know how Lex found them. "But I didn't tell him anything," she whispers. Well then, you'll only lose one of your legs. Papa Luthor says that doesn't matter, because as of now, the project never existed. Tang says they haven't tested the most recent adjustments. Papa Luthor says that her work will continue: "Just not here." Do they have a liver-medicine lab in Hell? Papa Luthor shuts the ice chest and says that he wants the lab cleared out by the end of the day. He threatens to deport Tang if she doesn't do what he asks. Papa Luthor adds, just to be awful, that her native country doesn't take too kindly to women who've consorted with the devils of Western capitalism. Despite the bind this puts him in, Papa Luthor really seems to be enjoying this. Tang watches as the men in suits start to take apart her lab. "Am I right?" asks Papa Luthor. You're so right you're Hellawrong. Tang looks severely freaked out.

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