Damned If You Do

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lord, Have Mercy!

Cuddy and the Martins pedeconference as Chase and his cute face and horrible hair (it's not usually this bad; maybe they're unsuccessfully trying to make Elizabeth Mitchell's wig better by comparison?) tell her that Elizabeth Mitchell is getting worse. Geez, how much worse can she get without dying? Even Star Trek doctors would have given up by now. Cameron takes the opportunity to be all rah-rah House again, saying maybe there is an underlying condition. Maybe House has trouble walking because it's hard to drag Cameron along by her lips with his ass. Cuddy doesn't get particularly defensive, but does suggest that Cameron not put in her two cents unless she's got something concrete to offer. This is the cue for a teabag to come flying out of nowhere and land on the table in front of Cuddy. She asks, "What's this, hemlock?" If that were the case, House would already have prescribed it to someone in the clinic. House parrots Cuddy's earlier line about the biggest favor one doctor can do for another, and explains that it's figwort tea, which is good for opening up the lungs and stimulating the heart. Unfortunately, when combined with epinephrine, it causes cardiac arrest. I'd be a lot more inclined to forgive House the smug moment of triumph here if Elizabeth Mitchell hadn't SPECIFICALLY SAID THAT SHE WAS TAKING THE PILL WITH TEA IN HER FIRST SCENE. I mean, God. But with the cardiac arrest being an exceptionally painful and breast-baring red herring, all the other symptoms can be explained by the original diagnosis of a long-term allergic reaction. Foreman points out that that's what Cameron said in the beginning. House agrees, and gives her props. Cameron gives one of those fake "Aw, it was nothin'" smiles, which House then wipes off by telling her that her lack of conviction in the diagnosis almost killed Elizabeth Mitchell. Who, I'm sure, is totally out of the woods now, considering they still have no idea what she's allergic to. House: "Take a lesson from Foreman. Stand up for what you believe in." I somehow doubt that if Cameron were ever to disagree with one of House's diagnoses, he'd give her plenty of respect and praise for having the courage of her convictions. Good thing that will never happen. Foreman, for his part, just looks uncomfortable, as one might after receiving heaping amounts of praise for doing nothing other than wrongly complaining that other doctors didn't know what they were doing. House leads them off to try to figure out what's wrong with Elizabeth Mitchell. Chase sort of non-sequiturs, "Damned if you do, damned if you don't," but nice to throw the episode title the Aussie's way. Cuddy just stares after House thinking that she probably shouldn't be finding him hot right about now.

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