Damned If You Do

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lord, Have Mercy!

Outside the clean room, Foreman and Cameron, out of their fugly scrubs, tell the sisters they'll call them if Elizabeth Mitchell's condition changes. They ask if she'll be all right. Foreman: "As long as she's not exposed to anything that can aggravate her allergies." Just then, Chase knocks on the window and says he needs help. God, Chase, would you quit it with the damn tea already? Cameron and Foreman rush in and start putting surgical gloves on. Chase tells them Elizabeth Mitchell is in anaphylactic shock, and hyper-Aussies for them to get their slow asses over there. They manage to intubate her and get enough air into her lungs to stabilize her. Chase says dumbly: "It's a clean room." If I can figure out that the problem has to be inside Elizabeth Mitchell's shapely body, it's time for this crack team to lay down the crack pipe, you know?

House watches the unconscious Elizabeth Mitchell from outside the clean room. He asks Wilsensei how you get an allergic reaction in a clean room. He pops a Vicodin, and given that it's time for Wilsensei to start in on theological issues, I'd say the timing was fortuitous. Wilsensei says that House needs to accept that sometimes patients die against all reason. House says that's not true -- they just don't know the reasons. Wilsensei: "I'm not sure the nuns would agree with you on that." I hope these two have some mind-blowing sex, because their conversations are pretty fucking dull.

House is off by himself thinking when Cameron finds him and tells him she knows he did everything he could. House: "I don't need verification from you to know that I'm doing my job well. That's your problem, not mine." Cameron gives him a Christmas present in response to that tirade. I expect I'll be getting one from her too once this recap goes live. Chase enters and tells them that Elizabeth Mitchell has been extubated, and that she's requesting to check out and go back to the monastery, presumably to die. House tells Chase to talk her out of it. Chase: "I think I may have talked her into it." I'd congratulate Chase on a job well done, but considering that Miss Radfafa wanted to do exactly the same thing four episodes ago, Chase probably had less to do with it than the naggingly persistent incompetence around here.

House, actually wearing a doctor's coat, enters the clean room: "Room's paid up for the rest of the week." Elizabeth Mitchell looks at him with the beatific smile of those who have accepted their own mortality, or as they call it around here, "The Minute 35 Glow." She tells House that she's down with God's will, no matter what it may be. House thinks to himself, "Nice work, Doctor Chase," and then accuses Elizabeth Mitchell of being a filthy sinning LIAR; he thinks she's not accepting, just running away. I don't want to speak for Elizabeth Mitchell, but I don't think she needs to hide behind any duplicity to have a good reason for running away. She and House argue about faith, and I don't think I need to insult your intelligence by telling you who's pro and who's con. House tells her that she's got a better shot betting on House than on God. This is why gambling is illegal in most states: people really don't know how to lay odds. Elizabeth Mitchell says that when she was fifteen, she was on every kind of birth control known to man, and she still got pregnant, and she blamed God. I'd blame God too, if I went to the trouble of inserting an IUD and still got pregnant. Of course, I'm male, so I'd have a little more cause for complaint. Then she realized, however, that she couldn't be angry with God and not believe in Him: "No one can. Not even you, Dr. House." House looks like he wasn't expecting his own One To Grow On to get thrown back in his face, particularly not from the patient he STILL HASN'T CURED WITH FIVE MINUTES LEFT.

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