Damned If You Do

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lord, Have Mercy!

Chase opens the door to the oxygen tank. Surprisingly, Elizabeth Mitchell's brains have not exploded everywhere. She says that she feels a little weak, and that her mouth is dry. Chase offers to get her some of her tea. Does he know the tea's herbal? Because if not, like, nice to give caffeine to a woman who's DEHYDRATED, DOCTOR.

Cuddy rips a strip off House for his new diagnosis, saying that Elizabeth Mitchell's ANA (antinuclear antibodies) are barely elevated. They limpeconference until Cuddy tells House, "I'm going to do you the biggest favor one doctor can do for another. I'm going to stop you from killing your patient." If she thinks that's the biggest favor one doctor can do for another, she doesn't share House's General Hospital addiction. She takes him off the case. She stalks off, and House looks after her, all, "If you think I'm doing clinic duty now, you're even higher than I am." He turns to his left and sees Foreman. House gives Foreman a big, creepy smile, because when you're a gimpy Vicodin-addicted antisocial genius, some pretty weird things turn you on.

Cuddy tells the Martins that they're going to treat Elizabeth Mitchell's symptoms, and denies that there could be an underlying condition. Cameron starts to tell her something House was considering. Cuddy: "I don't need to hear what Dr. House was considering!" Even if he was considering you to be a fine piece of tail? Well, come on. He's on Vicodin, not blind. Anyway, Chase and Cameron look down like children of divorce when Mommy's had too much wine and starts in on Daddy. Cuddy, in a more conciliatory tone, says she just wants to get Elizabeth Mitchell better: "I want her going out the front door, and not the back." There are some pretty gross jokes possible there, especially considering a certain later revelation, but I'll spare you. Sara M would have no such mercy, I have no doubt.

Outside, Cameron and Chase walk on ahead of their traitorous LIAR of a colleague. Foreman tries to make nice, and Cameron is all, "You did what you thought you had to," with the usual subtext of "BENEDICT ARNOLD" seeping through.

House is checking through the drawer where he got the epinephrine injection. I guess the point is to let us know that he doesn't really think he's infallible, although I don't know what he expects to learn by haphazardly rummaging through a drawer that seems to have less rhyme or reason to it than my checkbook. Nosy Wilson comes in to bust his boyfriend, and I'm new to this show, so I haven't figured out exactly what it is Wilson does in this hospital. Maybe he's doing an undercover documentary on malpractice. If that's the case, he researched his locale well. Wilson calls House out for the cigarette prescription, and House says the reason people don't wear ribbons for lung cancer is because they think people who die of lung cancer deserve it. Not sure what that has to do with the price of tea in a convent, but it segues into Wilson saying that guilt does a lot of damage. Thanks, Sensei. They go into Cuddy's office as House says that if he's right, Cuddy will kill Elizabeth Mitchell, but if he's wrong, she'll save her. Wilsensei says that House has to go through a lot of patient records, and hope they can be trusted: "Which, by the way, yours can't." Oh, BURN! Not. Shut up, Wilsensei.

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