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Vlad the Impaled

Bazhaev heads back to the pantry, where Josef is still pouting on the floor with a guard posted outside. Bazhaev dismisses the guard and tells Josef, "Get up." Josef does not. Bazhaev squats down and says, "Look at me, Josef." Josef does not. Considering how their last conversation about Josef's disobedience went, you'd think he'd be listening a little better. Bazhaev tells Josef that this is all so he can leave Josef and his family "wealth, respect, consequence." There's a reference to Josef's son, and I really hope Josef only has the one. Bazhaev calls Josef his only son and embraces him, then gets him to agree to help Father Gregor bury Oleg. Then the guard knocks on the door and holds out a cell phone. "Vladimir Laitanan," he announces. "He says it's important." Huh, wonder what he wants?

Bazhaev leaves the pantry to take the call at 10:22:13, demanding to know what he wants. Vladimir calls him "Sergei Petrovich," and apologizes for the lateness of his call. "Uh, your family is well?" Yikes, wrong time to ask that question. Bazhaev repeats his demand, and Vladimir circles his point until he finally says he's looking for "nuclear rods. Highly enriched uranium." Bazhaev stops walking, but he feigns ignorance, even when Vladimir says he has a buyer who's willing to double any offer. "Then he is as stupid as you are," Bazhaev barks. "Are you out of your mind? Nobody deals in nuclear rods, nobody!" Vladimir apologizes, and Bazhaev snaps, "Don't call me again!" End of call. Vladimir tells Walker he's getting nowhere, and he wants a little sex-break. Walker makes him wait until he's made some more calls. Vladimir dials. The phone, I mean.

Bazhaev returns to the pantry and tells Josef, "Vladimir Laitanan knows about the fuel rods." Josef disinterestedly asks him what he's going to do, but Bazhaev is already doing it. He's on his cell phone, and he reaches a guy who's riding in the back of a semi that's traveling through the city. Finally switching to Russian, now that he's speaking to his third fellow Russian of the hour (fourth if you count his American-accented son, fifth if you count the guard he said "Leave us" to earlier), Bazhaev instructs him, "It's Bazhaev. You need to stop. You know where to go." The man in the truck argues about the schedule, but Bazhaev insists. After hanging up, the man in the truck speaks Russian into a walkie-talkie. "Anton, pull off the road," he says. "We're stopping." The camera pans over to a big wooden crate, like the coffin of a giant, and then we see a shot of the truck crossing a bridge. Which does not look like a good place to pull over, at least if one doesn't want to attract attention. It's 10:24:48.

10:29:04. Hassan is in his office, busily going through photos like he's casting Kamistan's Next Top Terrorist. He answers his desk phone, and it's President Taylor herself, wondering where he is when they're supposed to be getting back to work. Doesn't she have people to make these calls for her? Hassan starts to make excuses for his lateness, and she asks him in a very serious tone what his intentions are. As he waves in his security chief and another, less trustworthy-looking fellow, Hassan asks what she means. Taylor says she's already vouched for him to the other countries, and wants to be sure he's going to behave himself. He promises to stop the arrests in the next few hours (because by then everyone in his country will already be in custody), and to either release or charge the delegate he had arrested last hour. Taylor accepts that, because she's apparently going to be gullible this whole hour, and the call ends. Then she asks Rob how Hassan sounded. "Not like himself," says Rob, who was listening on speaker the whole time. Helpful. You know what would come in handy for Taylor right now? A Secretary of State. She should get one of those.

"Did he talk?" Hassan asks his security chief, who we learn this week is named Tarin. The answer is no. Hassan asks how "forceful" the interrogation was, and Tarin says, "Very." Even if it couldn't have been that long, since Tarin hasn't even been outside the U.N. building for 45 minutes. "I did it myself. I don't believe he's involved with your brother in any way." Hassan is not satisfied, and he wants the delegate's wife and two children back home arrested. "Apply whatever pressure is necessary to make Jamot talk." Tarin just scowls at him handsomely, until Hassan tells him to speak his mind. Which Tarin does: "You rallied us around you on the promise you would put an end to such tactics. Mr. President, I will do everything humanly possible to find your brother, but please, do not ask me to violate the principles that you and I both stand for." These words seem to hit home, and Hassan thanks Tarin for being the one to tell him the truth now that his wife is gone. He backs off his previous order, and tells Tarin to just check computer and phone records again. Tarin and the other man head for the door to comply, but Hassan asks the shady-looking one to stay and pack up the files. No sooner is Tarin gone than Hassan repeats the order he just gave Tarin. And this guy, although a little slow on the uptake, is perfectly cool with it. Clearly Tarin should have come to this meeting alone. Hassan adds instructions to find Tarin's records while he's at it. "He might have his own reasons for not wanting Jamot to talk." This sounds too shady even for Shady, but I'm sure he'll come around. Interesting how Hassan's behavior right now is not entirely unlike that of Kiefer's in past seasons. But in this case we can tell it's wrong, because the person who disagrees with Hassan is brave and handsome, while the guy who's going along with him is bug-eyed and unshaven. Times change, don't they?

At 10:33:05, there's crap all over the place in the evidence lockup. And that crap includes Kevin and Nick, who still haven't left. Kevin says they have to move, and suddenly Nick points a gun at him and demands the money. Kevin reminds him that they're splitting it. Nick takes a deep breath, and pulls the trigger. And Kevin is struck full in the face -- by a stream of water. Has anyone ever actually seen one of those realistic replica squirt guns in real life? The horseplay continues until they hear the motion sensor alarm from out in the hallway. Kevin calls Nick an idiot, and dials Dana for some help getting out of there.

Bad timing for Dana, as usual: at CTU, Chloe comes up to her to give her an update on the materials they found on Davros. They've verified that the stuff was Soviet. Thanks for the news flash. Dana tells Chloe to keep her informed, and walks off to answer yet another cell phone call. "Kevin, are you out of there?" she asks. "No, not exactly," he says. "You idiot!" she hisses, rushing back up to the Robbery Ops Center. "If you get caught, I am dead!" she says, reminding us why she doesn't just let these two fools twist in the breeze. Kevin says she's not alone, and tells her to get them out of there. Back online at the computer terminal, she quickly spots the uniformed cop in the hallway outside. Fortunately, there's another door out of the room. While the crooks scamper over to it, Nick with a baseball bat in his hand, Dana sees the security feed showing all the ransacked evidence on the floor. "My God, what have you done?" she asks in shock. They did what idiots do, Dana. Try to keep up. Kevin and Nick find the alternate exit locked, and duck out of sight just as the cop enters. Dana tells Kevin they'll have to sneak past, going out the way they came in. Kevin watches from the shadows as the cop walks the room. At least he hasn't seen the disarray yet. As he turns down an aisle, Kevin and Nick make their move toward the exit. But then the cop sees the mess, and starts to call it in on his radio. Nick runs up behind him and bashes him to the floor with the bat. Horrified, Dana tells Kevin to stop him, which takes some doing. Kevin says they have to go, since the cop called it in. "We'll call you when we're clear," Kevin tells Dana as he drags Nick out of there. "God!" Dana spits as she throws

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