Dire Straits And Dead Weight

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Bye Bye, Billy

And now, fatefully, Candice is standing next to Aitu, and she turns to them and says, "I feel really bad for you guys!" "I'm next," a dead-eyed Billy mutters to her. "We love you!" Candice says, in that "aww, that's okay, we love you!" kind of way you dish out to people right after they fall in a mud puddle or something. Billy looks back at her solemnly and says, "I love you." Eyes scrunch up across the country. "Wait...what did he say?" they all wonder. Jeff hands the pieces of the immunity idol to the tribes who walked off with immunity. And Aitu? Well, poor Aitu will be going to tribal council later, just as it intended.

Later, Aitu is returning to camp. "Well, that sucked," someone says. Ozzy interviews that they lost the challenge on purpose, and he refers to it as "something that [they] had to do." Which, of course, it wasn't. "Billy dug his own hole by just not working," Ozzy announces. "And his lack of work showed a lack of commitment to the tribe." This is so lame, man. This is just a couple of smug shirtless volleyball dudes ganging up on the weird out-of-shape guy, and all attempts to disguise it as something else are nonsense. It's true that Billy doesn't work, and it's true that it might be a reason, but it's not their reason. Their reason is just that they don't dig him, and the idea of sandbagging him and shunning him amuses them, I think. So J.P. and the other quitters sit around, and he talks about how they would have won it without any problem if they'd been trying. He laughs at how they were supposedly catching up to Hiki, which...I do not think is the case. Cristina tells us that throwing the challenge really bugged her, and it made her conclude that "Oscar's very conniving." She adds, "I really see him trying to control everything." Me too, lady. Boot him! Along those lines, we see Ozzy lecturing about her technique as Cristina tries to hack open a coconut. And...I get that he might need to lecture about the shelter, but you might want to ease up and let her open her own coconuts. That is not a euphemism. Billy explains to us that things do not look good for him right now. It's all "pretty bleak," as he puts it. He says he's just looking for "some opening, some crack to go through."

A woman's voice sings, and then we are at Exile Island with Yul. He interviews that it "really sucked," partly because "there's pretty much nothing on it." It certainly does look like a boring place to hang out. No videogames, no books, no tribemates doing alternative medicine, no racist's a real drag. Yul tells us that he misses his tribe, and he hopes they miss him, too. Heh. Maybe Cao Boi is telling all his dog jokes while the rest of the tribe is weakened by Yul's absence.

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