Survivor
Dire Straits And Dead Weight

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Bye Bye, Billy

Challenge clearing. Probst calls in the tribes. The other three tribes look interested and, in J.P.'s case, pleased that Sekou was voted off. Clearly, J.P. believes that the great big guy was obviously the biggest threat, because he kind of didn't pay attention to the last challenge very much. Jeff takes back immunity from everyone who has it, and he says that today is one of those challenges that starts with Jeff's Story Time. Gather 'round and have a cookie. This story will be about the three voyages of Captain Cook. When Jeff is done, the members of each tribe who are playing will all be tied together, and when he gives the signal, they'll start making their way through a course. First, under and over some logs. Then, through what they're calling a "field of poles," where you climb up and untie seven "answer plaques." Then, across a rope bridge. At the end, you take the seven plaques and use them to answer five questions on a board. He tells them that the challenge is for both reward and immunity -- the reward is a couple of tarps, which will be very handy in the rain that's sure to keep coming. Last tribe to finish goes to tribal council. And, just like last week, the losing tribe will have the privilege of sending someone to Exile Island.

Jeff also announces that every tribe but Hiki has to sit someone out, and this is where J.P. puts his "brilliant" plan into motion by insisting that he be the one to sit out. "I'm like the worst at memory!" he says. I see. We want the team to throw the challenge, but we don't want to actually participate. You big baby. Adam sits out for Raro (which I also don't get, given how bossy he is), and Jenny sits out for Puka. Those who are playing get tied together and gather at the starting line, and Jeff reads the story. When he's done, he announces that if your team isn't sure it remembers the story, there's a book at the beginning of each team's course, which you can peruse in order to make sure you learn the answers before you start.

Ready? Go! Predictably, the only team to stand around reading the book at the beginning is Aitu, led by Ozzy, who is the least convincing challenge-thrower of all time. I don't recommend poker for him, lest he feel the need to elbow someone every time he bluffs, just so that he can be congratulated. The other three tribes are quite even going through the logs and at the beginning of the poles. Hiki begins to lag behind as a result of only sending Nathan up the poles to untie plaques, where Puka and Raro are sending two people up at a time. Puka gets onto the rope bridge first, and they're very efficient getting across with a "left, right, left" rhythm. Meanwhile, Ozzy is untying plaques as slowly as possible, wearing a weaselly little smile the entire time. Smug is very unflattering.

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Survivor

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