Alias
Double Agent

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Let's Get It Awwwwn
Wendy Kroy: Totally! What is UP with that? Are you sure seven hours is enough of a transition time for you there, Inspector Impatience?
Regina: God. I mean, I can't wait for the Spy Sex and everything, but that seems awfully dicky of him to just call up Alice and be all, "Hi. What's up? Yeah. Uh. Sorry your dad died and everything, but I'm about to get hot and wet with my new spy girlfriend so, like, see ya!"
Wendy Kroy: I know! I mean, give it a day or so, Captain Condom!
Regina: And while we're at it, could you do that shy smile thing again? Ahhhh...thank you...

Vaughn's all, truth is, she only really existed in the writers' imaginations, so we've been over for a long time. Then Jennifer Garner's dimples make another appearance and she starts grinning so hard it looks like her cheeks are going to fall off, and I'm having difficulty locating the thirty-four-year-old woman who normally occupies this chair at this computer in this apartment in Chicago. Dudes. Tee. And hee.

Syd keeps up with the perma-grin and says that now she'll actually be able to enter the CIA through the front door. Vaughn's all, yeah, and I'll even be able to give you a ride! I bet you will, Agent Awww Yeah. ROWR. He smiles at her. She smiles at him. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Oh, and TEE HEE.

Ich bin ein Berliner. With a somewhat wicked icy tint over the lens, we watch as a silver van squeals around a corner and dumps a barefoot blonde wrapped in plastic or something onto the sidewalk. People scramble in a panic as she rolls around. Yeah, it's Olivia D'Overbite. We don't really find that out 'til later, but, like, you totally know it's her.

Oops Center. Kendall, Jack, Syd, and Mr. Syd are all hanging out, looking over seating charts for the wedding reception. Agent Sean walks up with some blonde chick (what is WITH the blondes in this ep? Were they fulfilling a quota or what?) and introduces her as Christine Phillips, the new clandestine services grad who's going to be milling around and acting as yet more eye-candy while she observes operations. Agent Sean introduces the cozy crew and Blondie gushes at Syd that she's read her operations file and it's a real honor to be in the presence of a girl who's hotter than me and who can kick ass while wearing latex! Syd's all, yeah, whatever, who's the campfire girl over here?

Back in Berlinerplatz or whatever, the polizei have arrived on the scene. Olivia D'Overbite shakingly gets to her feet, and we get a washed-out close-up of her tear-stained and mascara-streaked face. Think I have enough hyphens in there? Someone at Oops Center is just surfing around looking for shots of Sabotage Sarah on Smoking Gun when they come across a news airing of the goings-on in Berlin. Some desk jockey calls over Kendall and his Krew of Kut-Ups, and they shimmy over.

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Alias

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