Survivor
Earthquakes And Shake Ups!

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I Feel The Earth Move...Zzzzz...

Volcano! Yasur returns sadly to camp on the afternoon of Day 12. Rory interviews that it's very apparent that the person going home will be either him or Bubba. He says there's no doubt that the women will vote together, so he "feel[s] extremely vulnerable." He says he can do nothing but "assume the worst and hope for the best." As the inevitable post-mortem on the challenge begins, Ami asks whether they looked totally stupid paddling, which...yes, you did. She then declares in an interview that she's "annoyed as hell with Bubba right now." She goes on to complain and moan that he tried to communicate with the other team at the beginning of the challenge. Now, think about how stupid this is. Ami has already declared herself so uninterested in Bubba and Rory that although she's happy to have them lift heavy things for her, she doesn't even want to tell them how to split a fucking coconut, lest it intrude upon the bond that the women have developed from exfoliating each other. I ask you, how much of a dope do you have to be to tut-tut at someone for lack of team loyalty when you have predetermined that he will never be, in your opinion, any part of the team? I can't stand her.

Ami and Scout take a walk, and Ami talks haughtily about how "people get themselves kicked out" by doing things like that. Welcome to Ami's Great State of Unreality, in which everything she does is justified by how much better a person she is than everyone else. "Bubba's not part of the tribe," she says. "He's making plans with the other team! Can you see Michael Jordan whispering over to the other team what their next play is?" Well, no, dear. Can you see three members of Michael Jordan's team conspiring to throw Michael Jordan off the team? No? Then SHUT UP. ["And, maybe back that analogy up and try it again with an athlete who didn't retire six years ago." -- Wing Chun] It's not a team game; it's an individual game. Always has been, always will be, and Ami is playing it accordingly herself. And, like most contestants who claim to be playing a reality show from the perspective of a higher sense of personal ethics, she needs to shut up a lot -- if for no other reason, because it usually backfires when other people become annoyed. Self-righteousness: it's what makes you what's for dinner.

The team eats some dinner prepared by Lisa, and Bubba says that what he was doing at the challenge when he was communicating with Lopevi was encouraging Chris to think about the merge. And, actually, to think about throwing the challenge. The theory would be that Lopevi could then dump one of the women, evening the overall men-women numbers in anticipation of the merge. Now, Ami: can you imagine Michael Jordan talking to the other team seeing if he can get them to throw the game? Would that strike you as quite so disloyal? In a private conversation, Bubba asks Ami if she will give him a heads-up if he's the one going, and she now tries to claim that she doesn't have a team mentality, that she "doesn't do that 'y'all' thing," and that he'll just have to "check with the boss." She cannot be booted soon enough for me.

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Survivor

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