Everwood
East Meets West

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East Meets West

Miniature golf! Delia gets in Ephram's way while he's trying to take his shot. He tells her to move, then hits his ball off a rock. Madison snarks, "Nice one, Tiger." Delia's all, "No do-overs!" Okay, I have to admit they're having fun. Until Amy and Rick Ballsack walk up. Ephram sees them and says, "Kill me now." Madison girly-girls to Delia, "Who's that?" Delia informs Madison that Ephram likes Amy, but it's a secret. Amy tells Delia hi, and asks what they're doing there. Ephram: "Just enjoying Everwood's finest outdoor recreational facility." He goes to putt. Madison introduces herself, "I'm Madison...babysitter." Ephram unnecessarily tells Amy, "Delia's babysitter." God, we GET. IT. Amy smiles, but Sideburns says, "Real cool." Delia asks if they want to join the group. Amy says they'll play behind them. Delia says, "Okay, but you'll be behind us all night." Heh. I'm sure that's going to be just lovely for Ephram. The Browns and Madison head to the next hole, and Ballsack tries to do the "let me show you how to putt from behind" thing. Amy pushes him off with her ass, and says, "I'm okay." Damn, she finally does something cool.

Nina's house. Treat walks in with a plate of brownies, and tells Nina he thought he'd bring her some baked goods for a change. Nina, still furious, tells him to put them on the table. She is cooking something of her own, and nearly breaks the glass with her over-emphatic stirring. Treat starts to tell Nina about the Daddy Hart problem, and Nina goes crazy on him. She tells him she can't believe he went blabbing about her divorce to Ephram. Treat says, "If it's any consolation, I didn't tell him that Carl was gay." Oh, Treat. Nina spits, "Get. OUT." Treat says he's sorry. Nina tells him that he should be sorry for a lot of things, mainly for bailing on her the other day. Treat says that Jim Hart has a serious condition. Nina makes the point that Jim Hart didn't even ask for his help. True. Nina says that Treat is a self-righteous bastard, that he pushes people to move on, but what about him? His wife has been dead for nearly two years, and he still wears his wedding ring. Oh, ow.

Weird Man Cult. Some guy introduces Patch as High Ruckbuck, and Patch gets up to speak. He starts off well, all, "Thank you, everyone, thank you." Then some Chinese juju hits him and he says, "There's so much to be grateful for...PIE, for one. Did you ever have such a good bite of pie that you wanted to stop eating for fear the next one wouldn't be quite as right?" The men of the cult look confused, but Patch continues, "Friends. Familiar faces! Some I've known since I was a TOT!" He talks about when his dad would bring him to the WMC picnics: "All those chortling, befezzed men smoking cigars! Dad always went for those Swisher Sweets...God, I miss my dad! He was such a GOOD MAN! And now, here I am, surrounded by...good MEN! I love you guys. I love you! I LOVE YOU, DAD!" Hee hee! Patch gets all weepy, and also gets a standing ovation. All the men of the WMC rush up to hug him. It's freaking hilarious.

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Everwood

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