Sawyer comes up with a "brilliant" idea to get out of his cage, if Lost takes place in a parallel universe in which "brilliant" actually means "incomprehensibly stupid." The Others are kinda distracted when the gut-shot Colleen is brought back to their compound, so Sawyer uses his water pipe to make the ground in his cage all wet, and the next time an Other comes by, Sawyer'll grab him and then hammer on the food pellet button so he'll get a big shock and zap the Other. Kate points out that this will shock Sawyer as well. Sawyer says, "Yeah, but I'll be expecting it, so I'll be fine; plus, I am an idiot." Ben's the next one by, and Sawyer puts his "plan" into "action," but it doesn't work, because the Others turned off his machine.
So now Sawyer knows that the Others are watching them. And the Others take him for a little surgery, and tell him they've installed a pacemaker that'll make his heart blow up if his heart rate gets up to 140. Sawyer never thinks to check under the bandage under his chest, or wonder why his chest doesn't hurt like hell after such an operation, but he goes along with their orders not to tell Kate anything about the surveillance, or they'll put a heart-blower-upper in her too. He can't escape (which really confuses Kate, who's figured out she can slip through the bars at the top of her cage), because that will get his heart rate going, or give him a boner, which could be a problem if Kate continues changing clothes in front of him. However, getting the absolute living shit beaten out of him by Danny doesn't seem to faze him at all.
Why's Danny so mad? Because Colleen dies on the operating table, despite Juliet's best efforts, as well as those of Jack, whom Juliet enlists to help. Jack has also spotted some X-rays that reveal a tumor on someone's spine, so he deduces he's there to save someone's life. Let's hope it goes better than Colleen's operation, eh?
For some reason, Danny stops beating up on Sawyer when Kate says she loves him. (Uh, Sawyer, not Danny.) Sawyer thinks she means it. Kate says she said it to get Danny to stop beating him up. For a con man, Sawyer's awfully naive. This is proved again when Ben reveals that the pacemaker story is a hoax. So why tell him it's not true? Because, Ben says, the only way to get a con man's respect is to con him. And also, to best him at quoting Steinbeck. In which case, congratulations! I'm sure Sawyer's really impressed with you guys now. Oh, and their little prison? Is on another island, which is about twice the size of Alcatraz, but with one fewer crappy Bruckheimer movies made about it.
In the flashbacks, jailbird Sawyer rats out a fellow prisoner, who stole $10 million from Drew Carey, in order to get his sentence commuted, and to provide some money for his never-heard-from-before and not-confirmed-DNA-wise daughter. Hey, Sawyer, wanna play some cards? All you gotta do is find the red queen. Just $10 bucks to chase the lady. C'mon, Sawyer. You look lucky.
We open on Craphole Island Beach, with a contemplative Desmond sitting, stroking his beard -- and if he found two friends with similarly long hair and disco beards, they could go out for Halloween as the Bee Gees. He's watching Claire play with Aaron. I probably wouldn't have thought anything of it until I had my own baby girl just a few months ago, but Aaron is clearly older than he's supposed to be. Not that I think it matters, and it would obviously be rather impractical to be so worried about matching a baby up with however old Aaron's supposed to be at any given time. And I have to admit that babies fascinate me a lot more than they ever used to, even if usually I'm thinking, "Cuter than my daughter?" (This may surprise you, but I've yet to find one that is.) I am also holding out the possibility that maybe this is some kind of soap-opera island that ages kids a lot quicker than normal (see also: Walt).
Eventually, Desmond walks over to Claire and tells her she's got a problem with her roof, and that she should move down the beach for just a night so he can fix it. She's all "whuh?" and says Aaron just fell asleep, and he promises her it'll be worth it (waking Aaron up, I guess). It'd take him a whole day to fix it? It's palm fronds on a tiny little shelter; how long could it take?
So because a Y-chromosomed person is talking to Claire, Charlie has to get involved, and he strolls over and asks Desmond (whom he calls "brother," mimicking Desmond) what's going on. Desmond says he wants to fix the roof. Charlie says the roof's fine, and furthermore, if there's a problem, he'll fix it himself, because he's "quite handy." As proof, he points out the church he was building with Eko "before Eko exploded." Charlie's constant concern for his fellow castaways really chokes you up, doesn't it? Although he's probably still a little resentful over his island pariah status, which seems to be waning. On the other hand, I would like to point out that this church he's bragging about? HAS NO ROOF. Desmond says he's just trying to help, and he wanders away. Claire asks what that was about. Charlie says he has no idea, but maybe they should find Desmond another button to push.
Jack's underwater prison. The Others have thoughtfully left the television for Jack to watch, but it's not like he can change the channel, and he appears to be going crazy (even more so) with the classic cartoons being shown. There's a knock on his cell door, so he obediently goes over to the corner and sits down. She asks how he's doing, and he's his usual snide self, so it's hard to tell if he's pissed off about being held captive or if he's annoyed by carrying the weight of the world. She says he seems "frustrated," and I can't imagine what might be frustrating about being held captive, JULIET, and Jack wants to know if they're going to tell him why he's here or if he's just going to keep watching cartoons. Juliet completely ducks the question, so Jack pointedly asks if he should speak to "Benjamin," like when you try to get results from a waiter or a cashier by asking to speak to a manager. Jack says he's starting to think that Juliet's just the person who brings him food. But if the movie Waiting taught us anything, it's that you don't mess with the people who serve you food. Well, it also taught us that Waiting is a really crappy movie, but that information isn't likely to be of any use to Jack right at this moment.