Exit Strategy

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Exit Strategery

Manor. Phoebe enters through the front door, followed by Prue and the Dolt. Prue wants to scry for the other witch. The Dolt reveals that scrying would be useless in this case, as the amulet deflects all magic, good or evil. Phoebe guesses that this little detail factored into their earlier failure to find the blonde in time. Prue frets a bit, but the conversation is interrupted by what sounds like a moist gunshot in the kitchen. Trust me on that description. The camera cuts to reveal Piper mewling helplessly as wet, fleshy chunks of red and pink drop from the ceiling to cling to her hair, hands, and clothes. Prue asks, “Was it a demon?” No, it was a watermelon. Piper pitched it up into the air and tried to freeze it. It exploded instead. Snicker. Yes, snicker. God help me. Piper gestures in frustration as she tells her tale of watermelon woe, and the dirty dishes in the sink explode. Startled, she wheels around while flapping her hands some more, and the glass in the cupboard doors shatters. “Piper,” Phoebe intones. “Put your hands down and no one will get hurt.” “Hon-eeeee,” Piper whines. The Dolt shushes her. Prue slides a couple of large oven mitts over Piper’s hands and tells her to freeze the teakettle. Boom! Phoebe suggests that Piper try to calm down, as her current heightened state of anxiety is likely exacerbating the problem. The Dolt orbs out to consult TPTB. Prue wonders again how they’re to find the other half of the amulet while Piper whines some more.

Cole conveniently squiggles in at this point to reveal that he knows where they need to go. He also denies responsibility for the blonde’s death. Phoebe crosses to him, assuring him that they all know he didn’t do it. Piper looks like she doesn’t agree, but prudently keeps her mouth shut. Phoebe notes that Cole looks worse for the wear, and leads him into the parlor for a private chat. Once there, he asks for a status report on the Demon Be Gone. The potion is missing one key ingredient, “billingsroot.” Once she figures out what billingsroot is, Cole’s problems will be history. Blather about Cole not being able to resist the pull of his demonic side much longer. He begs Phoebe to get to the second witch with her sisters before he does, to protect her. He’s been ordered to kill the witch after retrieving the amulet. Even if he doesn’t, Ian certainly will. Phoebe gazes down sadly.

Cut to a shot of the full moon hanging over a forest clearing. A coven of witches sits in a circle around an open fire, conducting a tiresome ritual of some sort. The lead witch -- who has the second half of the amulet on a chain around her neck -- calls the meeting to a close with “blessed be.” Oh. She’s one of those. How much you want to bet she’ll be dead in fifteen minutes? Too easy? Then how much you want to bet I’ll be hurling blunt objects at the television screen when she spouts more of that sick-making Wicca jargon later in the episode? The point of view on the scene shifts as Cole is revealed to be spying on the whole thing from a cluster of bushes off to the side. The Freak squiggles in behind him. Their faces are half-lit by the moonlight, making them look like the members of Queen in the infamous four-shot from the “Bohemian Rhapsody” video. Cole wonders why the Freak is there. He’s been sent to “watch [Cole’s] back.” Cole acidly notes that there’s a difference between watching someone’s back and stabbing it. The Freak natters on about the untrusting nature of Belthazor while the two watch the coven disperse. The Freak tells Cole he’d best follow Ian’s orders carefully, and adds that murdering a witch will make Cole “feel better.” Hell, boys. If she tosses off any more of that “blessed be” crap, I’ll strangle her for you.

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