Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 1 USERS: D-
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

Eighty days ago, Nikki and Paolo are at the airport reading in the newspaper about the so-sad heart attack that killed Grandpa. Apparently Grandpa was Howard L. Zuckerman. He was the creative force behind the television show Exposé and he was found dead in his home from heart failure. They are drinking champagne, so they're obviously very broken up about this. As Paolo finishes reading the obituary, the two burst into giggles and start kissing. Nikki interrupts the kiss to ask if Paolo is chewing gum. He is -- nicotine gum. He quit smoking! This message brought to you by: ABC Cares. Stop smoking now and you'll end up on a doomed plane! Paolo suggests a toast to their new life together. As they toast, Boone and Shannon walk into the café. Hi Shannon! Hi Boone! Nice wig! What is that, opossum? Nice. Shannon is in full-on bitch mode. She is screaming at Boone because there are no seats and they have to fly coach and on and on. She is making me uncomfortable. Boone walks up to Paolo and asks if he can have the empty chair next to him. Paolo agrees. Shannon continues her whinge streak and ends up making them leave the restaurant. As they walk off, she tells Boone to stop flirting with all the cute boys. Ooh, ultimate insult! In fourth grade. She really is good at being a bitchy sister. Nikki makes Paolo promise that they will never end up like Shannon and Boone. He promises as the second Anvil of Foreshadowing lands next to my head. Knock it off! I get it!

The show cuts directly to the plane crash. Shannon is standing in the middle of the disaster, screaming. Nikki is there, too. See? I told you she was there the entire time. But seriously -- how'd they do that? CGI? Magic Box? Nikki is entirely unscathed. Nary a hair out of place. No smudges on her Betsey Johnson mini dress. She is running around looking confused and trying to find Paolo. Ooh, there's Jin! And there's Jack helping Claire. Locke saves Nikki life by telling her to move when that guy gets sucked into the engine. Ew! I did not need to relive that moment. Boone grabs Nikki and asks her if she has a pen. Remember? When he wanted to do an emergency tracheotomy on someone (Rose maybe?) who just needed CPR? Nikki thinks she has found Paolo, but it is Arzt the Science Guy. She stumbles off as he asks her if she's okay. She finally finds Paolo. He is bloodied and stunned or something and staring at the ocean. She hugs him and tells him to look at her. He focuses on her, and she asks him where the bag is. He looks hurt. Now he looks dead. We've cut back to the present, where Paolo is lying in the middle of the woods. Hurley, Jin, and Sawyer are trying to track him through the jungle. He makes it easy for them by lying in the middle of the path. Dead. Sawyer says, "Well, I guess that's Paolo."

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