Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 1 USERS: D-
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

Nasty Vincent is all over Paolo. Probably looking for a snack. Nasty dog. Hurley calls him off. Slow Charlie is not convinced that Sawyer is hiding anything, even though he's pretending he never met the dead girl before. Sun is not sure either. She is convinced it was the Others and she knows what they can do! Hurley goes to get Desmond so he can back him up. As Hurley walks off, Charlie fesses up to Sun. He admits that he fake-kidnapped her to get back at Locke and so that Sawyer would be his friend. He wasn't himself after Locke hit him and humiliated him in front of everyone. Sawyer told him that he could get even if he helped take the guns. He made it look like the Others. He didn't mean to hurt her. He's sorry. Is Sun supposed to forgive him because Locke embarrassed him? Because his manhood was degraded? And is she supposed to believe that he didn't mean to hurt her when he kidnapped her and dragged her through the woods? I am not nearly drunk enough for this shinola. Sun turns on her heel and walks off, but not before we get to see Paolo's blank-eyed stare. Again.

Nine days ago, Locke headed to the Pearl Station and Nikki volunteered to go along. Paolo is not interested, but Nikki points out that he's always whining about not being included. Now's his chance! Inside the Pearl, while Nikki plays with the big boys, Paolo uses the bathroom. He takes the dolls out and grabs the goods. He's in there a long time, but I guess it wasn't the all-fruit diet after all! He announces to the crowd that the toilet still works. They're not very interested.

Everyone is pitching in to help bury the dead. When Sawyer walks up, Hurley charges up to him and demands the gun. Sawyer points out that the gun is not loaded, Hurley points out that that's a pretty lousy way to sweep the perimeter. Then Hurley demands that Sawyer quit lying because Desmond saw him fighting with Nikki this morning. He wants to know if Sawyer killed them. Pretty suave there, Detective Stabler. Sawyer says no, but Nikki came to him this morning because she wanted a gun. Hurley wants to know why he didn't tell them before. Sawyer explains, "Because of the dirt under her nails. When we found Paolo I saw a pile of dirt. She was burying something. If you take the time to bury something right before you die then what you are hiding is probably pretty damn good." Sun wants to know what it was. Sawyer takes out a very non-dirty velvet bag from his pocket. He throws it at Sun. It's full of diamonds. Sawyer says she can have it because whatever happened to those two, he had nothing to do with it.

Twelve hours ago, Nikki and Paolo sat on the beach talking about how Thanksgiving was two weeks ago and they missed it. So the Dharma Initiative didn't include a Dharma Brand Thanksgiving-in-a-Box in the Hatch? Didn't they care about turkey and cranberry sauce and patriotism and morale? Sheesh, no wonder their Initiative failed. Nikki is complaining about missing everything, but Paolo insists that they will be found. Soon, even! Nikki rolls her eyes and asks where this burst of optimism came from. Paolo says he looks at things like that. He gives a helpful example: not finding the bag. It was good for us. The bag almost tore us apart. Nikki agrees. Paolo tells her to wait there while he goes to get them some breakfast at the new Wolfgang Puck Express that just opened up on the Island. Nikki smiles to herself and good lord, her eyebrows are really well waxed. Do you think Sawyer had a waxing kit in his stash? Or did the girls on the Island just invent one out of palm sap or something? Maybe Claire started an Island spa! You know, off-camera, where all the good stuff happens. Nikki looks down at the sand where Paolo was sitting and espies a pack of nicotine gum. She knows his pants are on fire, 'cause he is a LIAR.

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