Extra Ordinary

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Extra Ordinary

Patch finds Treat in his car, about to leave. Patch knocks on the window. Treat grins and waves. He rolls down the window, oblivious. Patch tells him that he's usually delighted to take in refugees from Treat's practice, but that when Treat gives them good reason to run, he takes all the fun out of it. Patch tells Treat that he just met with Stacy and her mom, and that any idiot would know that Stacy didn't need more plastic surgery. Treat says it was clear that Stacy didn't want to hear that from him. Patch pep-talks Treat: "Ever since you've gotten here, all you've done is make people listen to you. You're Andy Brown! You meddle, you push, enmesh and embroil! You irritate until you get your way -- you're like pestilence!" Heh, "pestilence." Treat says there's nothing he can do if people don't trust him. Patch says Treat's not going to win anybody's trust by sending people away for anything more complicated than a "bagel wound," and that his good-guy, law-abiding act is painfully ordinary. Patch's diatribe is interrupted by his own cell phone ringing. It's playing the theme song fromI Dream of Jeannie. Heh. Who's your daddy? Patch Abbott is. Treat comments, "You know, that ring takes all the authority our of anything you just said."

Classroom at the high school. Amy's so asleep at her desk she's drooling. Laynie pushes her and says, "At least fake it." Amy acts all awake. Ephram walks in, late. The teacher -- who is also the guidance counselor from before -- informs Ephram that he's actually two weeks late. Ephram: "Traffic." He sits behind Amy, and asks her if he's about to be as bored as he thinks. Amy tells him he is, and that he's paying for the privilege. "Yay."

Abbott House of Failure. Patch and Rose have just found out about Bright's getting kicked off the football team. Rose says she had to hear from somebody else, and can't believe Bright didn't just tell them. Bright says he figured they had enough going on without him. Rose says that just because Amy's having a rough time doesn't mean Bright gets to hide things. Bright sibling-rivalries, "You don't want to hear about me. Everything is always about Amy and her problems...I always figure everything out on my own." Patch says he is getting Bright back on the team. Bright tells his dad about the whole "use Colin for football" thing. Patch is all, "GREAT! Say that!" Bright says he's not cashing in on that. Patch says it might seem distasteful, but that it's actually true, and that Bright deserves a chance at a football scholarship. Bright says he blew the class, and that it wasn't because of Colin. Patch says that they have "always assumed the strategy of packaging [Bright] as a student athlete," and that Bright can't do that without football. Patch gets angry: "It's my job as a parent not to let your personality stand in the way of your success." Hee. He tells Bright to do whatever he has to to get back on the team, and that he can be mad while he's in the college of his choice. Bright says he won't guilt somebody into letting him into college. Patch asks Bright how he plans to get into college without football. Bright says he'll work his ass off, and study harder. He reminds his dad that "it's not like we're hurting for money," and that he might not even need a scholarship. Patch says, "It's not the money! They won't accept you without football." Bright: "Why?" Patch: "Because you're not SMART enough!" And...awkward silence. Music of Feet in Mouth plays. Bright walks out. Patch looks remorseful.

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