Oz
Family Bizness

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Wrestlemania

Men's room. McManus enters to find the PP pee-peeing. Man, the Foley guys must drink an awful lot of water during the day, because they consistently pipe in the loudest sound effects. I mean, there are things I'm willing to take on faith, okay? McManus whips his out, as once again the show literalizes a metaphorical concept, and jauntily asks why the PP didn't stay around for cake and coffee. Yeah, I think he's had enough coffee already. The PP is all, "McManus, McManus, McManus," and tut-tuts that McManus must think the PP is vulnerable with his wife having left him, the drop in the polls he took after the riots, and the corruption charges he's facing. I hope he's not going to tell us that he's been shacking up with a gay couple for the past several months, because the description is already frighteningly Giuliani-esque. McManus: "I'm a simple man with a simple plan." This would be unbearable if I weren't absolutely sure that the PP is so about to put McManus in his place. Sure enough, he responds, "Yes. But I'm not." The PP says that his enemies have underestimated him. "The voters and I have a love-hate relationship. They know I'm a bully. They suspect I'm dishonest. They even assume I cheated on my wife." However, he says, crime and taxes are down, while employment is up, and the literacy rate is second in the country. "So do you seriously think that John and Jane Q. Public give a shit that some drugged-out homeboy is gonna get a diploma, knowing that their own little darlings are going to Yale?" Yeah, I'm thinking you're not getting three minutes on the evening news, Timbo. He pats McManus on the arm, and as he walks out he snarks, "Enjoy that coffee and cake." Ha! I'm going to take a break from the recap and watch that scene, oh, I don't know, about 17,000 times.

Cut to Hill, who is, I kid you not, dressed in pajamas and a night hat, sitting in a large crib surrounded by oversized stuffed animals. He does lewd enough things to a giraffe to make PETA consider opening a stuffed department as he tells us, "People want to get back at their parents for making them be born!" Hill, I've already dissed your mother once in this recap, so you can just intuit my comment.

Wangler enters Poet's pod and exposits that Poet is leaving that day. He says he heard Poet's poem from the graduation (how?) and that he really liked it. He apologizes for all the shit he's been giving Poet (although why he got so bent out of shape is never explained), and says that Poet is really good. Since that's coming from Wangler, I feel no need to adjust my views on the subject. Poet offers that it was "fucked up" that Wangler wasn't allowed to graduate, and Wangler tells him that it was hard to call his mother and explain, as she'd been really proud of him lately. Again, why'd he do it? I know he was under pressure from Adebisi, but all that anger toward Poet was just bizarre. Anyway, Wangler asks Poet to write a letter to his mother for him, apologizing for all the shit he's pulled. Poet points out that Wangler could write the letter himself, but Wangler says that Poet's the one with the words, and wake me up when this whole Poet-o de Bergerac storyline is over, will you? Wangler does add that he doesn't have the "vocabulary," and his little stutter over that line is one of the continuity nods I mentioned earlier. Nice one, Tom. Wangler offers him some drugs to seal the deal, and tell me Poet isn't going to be so stupid as to snort on the very day he's supposed to be getting out. Use one of your 144,000 brain cells and wise up, jerky. But he doesn't. Oy.

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