Survivor
Family Values

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Neck and Neck

Thus begins a stream of hysterical calamities occurring in the attack zone. Peachy, at this point, just wants them to hurry up and be done with it, since he does not want his name or pretty face attached to the lawsuit. Stephanie (up against Ted) runs, takes a flying leap, and lands in straddle position on the bamboo in the zone. Ted handily pushes her off, and from the water she grabs his ankles and pulls him in. Her team cheers as Peachy yells, "Stephanie! What are you doing? You were in the water -- you weren't even close to the attack zone!" She doesn't answer, and swims off. So that's one more penalty, and Chuay Gahn takes the lead with seven baskets to Sook Jai's five.

Ted's now up against Shii Devil, and makes a point of being sure to be "in the zone." They go at it from their knees this time, as the members of Sook Jai yell again for Shii Devil to grab hold of Ted and jump on his back. She looks distraught, because as a Human Resources specialist she's used to handling conflict in a different way. They finally go for each other, and Shii Devil ends up in the water, where she repeats exactly what Stephanie did, but without the same success -- or lack thereof, so she doesn't get yelled at.

It appears now that Ted has decided to squat in the attack zone and await further misguided attacks from Sook Jai. Brian bypasses Ted in the zone as Jed leaves his tribe's starting point. He runs directly for Brian -- who had moments ago passed Ted in the zone and is thus far beyond it -- and rams into Brian, knocking him off. Grindia yells, "He's not in it. He was not in it!" surprisingly choosing under- over overstatement for once. Peachy is now extraordinarily irritated and unPeachy-like as he yells at moronic Jed and complains that they're making Peachy sound like a "broken record." Peachy sounds like a broken record every week what with the "sixteen strangers" and the "fire represents life on the island," and the "once the votes are tallied," but he's never minded before. In any case, Chuay Gahn is now one basket away from victory. Grindia appears to be on her knees barking at Clay as he dances toward the finish line. Meanwhile, Ted is crawling along the bamboo. Backwards. Penny tries to attack Clay from behind as he exits the zone, and that's the one time they should have tried to get away with playing dirty, since the tribe had nothing to lose. But girls named Penny don't play dirty, so that's that. Chuay Gahn wins, and Clay's painfully erect, silhouetted nipples scar me for life. The Red Berets float over and Clay yells "Fish! Fish!" as he pats his stomach. Grindia grabs Clay for a kiss, then Ted. The moment is grinding-free.

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Survivor

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