Everwood
Fear Itself

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Crazy On A Ship Of Fools

Nina's House of Prophylactic Evidence. She rummages through the rest of Shutup Carl's things, then stops when she hears them running up the stairs. Sam and Delia run in all excited about pancakes. Shutup Carl blathers about bacon and sausage. Shut up, Carl. The kids start for the kitchen, and Shutup Carl tells Nina, "This is what it's going to be like every morning. Isn't it great?" Nina looks like she'd rather break her own kneecaps.

Treat and Irv in a boat. Treat tells Irv, "My dad used to say, 'There's a thin line between fishing, and sitting in a boat getting drunk.'" Please allow me to back that claim up, and for my forum-dwellers getting all uppity about drinking in a boat: I grew up on the bayou, okay? It's either that or jumping off a railroad trestle into the water. While the train's coming. Choose your battles, people. Irv pulls his rod up for a fish, and Treat nearly falls out of the boat. My Handy-Dandy Book of Foreshadowing tells Treat to ask Irv if there are any life jackets in the boat. Irv says he forgot to grab them. Aw, Treat can't swim! Treat says he's no Mark Spitz, but more of a "modified Labrador." Irv can't believe there are things Treat isn't good at. Treat says Irv hasn't sampled his cooking, "and then there's always my parenting skills..." Irv says Treat's doing fine, and that he wasn't always a "sack of happy" when he was Ephram's age. Hee. "Sack of Happy." The name of my next postmodern jazz-fusion techno-industrial y'allternative-rock album. Treat says he hopes he and Ephram aren't cramping Irv's style with the studying and the arguing. Irv says he doesn't know if the lake is the best place for a study hall, but you do the best you can. Treat blah-blahs that he just wants Ephram to do well, because it's his job as a father. Irv hits us with his best shot, which is, "Wish I could say I did better when it was my turn." Treat nearly falls out of the boat again. Turns out Irv has a grown daughter who lives "back east," and they don't get along too well. He divorced "Cassandra's" mother when their daughter was a teenager. Learn something new every day, don't you? Irv says that Cassie had to blame somebody, and she picked her daddy. Guess who we'll be seeing sometime next season?

Cut to Colin's House. Amy finds Colin in his room. He asks her what the hell she's doing there. She brought him ice cream. Aw. He tells her to leave. Amy says she guesses they're still fighting. Colin: "Is there any reason why we wouldn't be?" Uh, if you weren't a giant asshole? He tells her she hasn't even apologized. Amy says she's sorry. Colin tells her it's too late. Okay, so you want her to apologize, so she does, but it's too late? God, psycho. Colin tells her they're over. Amy stalkers that they're not. Colin says something stupid and uses the word "tweaked." Amy apologizes again, and Colin tells her to leave. He says he doesn't want to see her anymore, and that they're done. Amy leaves, taking the ice cream with her. Tacky.

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Everwood

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